This is a purely ficticious story created by some very imaginative AussieVeeDubbers.
All characters here are ficticious and are in no way representing any one person, event, or VW ride!!!:thumb
Please enjoy and participate if you wish 馃檪
Let the story begin, NOW!!!! :BOUNCE
His name is Grease cos he was born with grease under his nails.
People say it is in the DNA cos his dad has grease under his nails as well. Who's to know??
He was born in the back of a 64 splitty as his dad tried desperately to get his mum to hospital for the birth
It was not a long drive, but an eventful one..........
[Edited on 24-9-2003 by jenz58]
matara 路
because the reduction box gave up on the splitty on the way to the hospital....
koolkarmakombi 路
A reduction box blowing on 'ol man greases splitty! Well Ol man grease got out on the side of the road. Mrs grease is in the back of the bus, on the fold down bed cursing the huge hill to the hospital that caused the reduction box to blow. She knew she would never walk up it. Ol man grease already has the wheel off. He sees the hub sitting oddly and knows the inside of the box is mush.
Ol man grease aint worried. He got grease under his nails. He got grease under his nails for a reason. He can now go IRS! 'Hold your knees together honey' he calls as he runs back home for the reallly long extension cord and the welder.
next
Unity-28 路
When He gets back, he starts to work, but b4 he has done much, a convoy of Vw is coming up the road in the distance...
Next
Adam_C 路
Roofs clad with roofracks, tires with whitewalls this konvoy of dubs leaves a distinct trail of dripped oil, as they pull up the switch is flicked and *CHHHHH* is heard as they lower to the ground and get out to help
next
Da Wiz 路
... this is when 'ol man grease realises that they (the vw's) were full of beautiful 6' bikini clad women, and small dwarf sized mechanics ...
Adam_C 路
Little did mr grease know they were freakishly goodlooking transvestites (Sp?) who were also mechanics who took turns in fitting and weling the irs in a matter of minutes as the midgets delivered the baby wrapping him in the only thing they could find . . . a greasy rag
next
jenz58 路
The midgets call for an ambulance. Minutes later it arrives and the Grease family are whisked away to the hospital with the trannies and midgets promising to bring the kombi around later when they've packed all the tools up
Petunia shrieks when she realises she has broken a nail and ruined her nail polish but has a satisfied glow from a job well done and another Vee Dubber saved....
So that is how Grease Jnr came into the world and why..........
zac_smits 路
That was the story of Grease Jnr's birth.
Why was he born? Well to quote ol man grease's father "My boy will neva do anything good in this world...and anything good that comes of him, will be a womans fault"
So, the real reason that grease jnr was conceived, was because ol man grease wanted to prove his father (really old man grease) wrong.
Adam_C 路
Great stuff jen and guys . . . . . so now grease jnr is born . . . we need another story
His 5th birthday and his first day at school, little grease is extremely excited he cant wait to get to school. As he piles into the kombi.........
Next
baybuscamperkid 路
his new backpack in his hand and his shiny red malvern star dragster delicately placed in the back seat...
twoguns 路
and young grease, who is the latest in a family tree of vw lovers, is dressed in accordance with those in the know. wearing he's proud 'i love vw' cap, and sporting a brilliant orange t'shirt with a pic of a '59 samba with all the windows open and with plenty of bikini swimsuit models hanging out. not to mention the school bag containing the esential vw memorablia.
he strolls into class...
jenz58 路
...he had hear about show and tell, and was ready:thumb:bounce:bounce
zac_smits 路
his new teacher, mrs ford, introduces him to the class and points him to a desk near the front.
the first child gets up, produly displaying his holden ss model and proceeds to talk about it's awesome power and great manufacture.
[Edited on 25-9-2003 by zac_smits]
twoguns 路
but poor little grease. being brought up proud and strong in his love for everything vw... souldnt help himself to a qick giggle when he heard his new teach's name. she in turn gave him a time out in the corner to reflect. but grease he is not perturbed and is taking the time to give his story in 'show and tell'.
jenz58 路
Unfortunately as part of his punishment he has to wait to be last.
He hears stories from kids who spent the summer seeing movies and who collect cards, and worst he had to listen about dumb girls stuff :puke
He knew he would be on a winner come his turn馃槈
Then he hear his name called.....He grabbed his bag and was ready
Adam_C 路
Out came the Flying VW badge he had so preciously wrapped, along with his swamp cooler he had squeesed into his bag, he began to tell the story of . . . .
helbus 路
... how the Volkswagen changed history forever by being a part of nearly everyones lives including his own. Unfortunatley the story he told went for too long and as he was the last one the teacher threw a duster at his head. This made grease jnr ...
Oasis 路
....drop his flying VW badge and yell out, "Oh golly gosh, I think my head and my toe hurts. Can I go home now and put my '54 shell on my IRS pan, and shorten my front beam for homework???"
[Edited on 25-9-2003 by Oasis]
helbus 路
The teacher growled angrily and glared at grease with eyes that - well just glared really.
She then shrieked and said "You were nothing! You are nothing! You will always be nothing!"
Grease dropped his head (the hi compression large valve one he had in his left hand that is) in shame.
She the bellowed "Get out of here and never come back. You are destined to touch only veedubs every day for the rest of your life!"
With this statement grease smirked and felt good inside for he already new his destiny and this wretch of a teacher had now forged it for him. He was happy.
Grease turned out of the classroom and ...
jenz58 路
swore never to return to school!!!!:cussing
There was serious talk at the dinner table that night in the Grease household about what to do, but being the New Age kombi driving people that they are, they decided to educate young grease at home.
Mr Grease had an inner glouting, and a twinkle in his eye as he thought of the possibilities for his son......
Doug Sweetman 路
The following day dawned bright and fresh with knock on the front door....
helbus 路
a travelling salesman had Scat cranks and Berg shifters he had to move in a hurry. His problem was that no-one was confident in putting these items in there every day drivers.
Grease junior said "I will pledge to not only change people way of thinking, but make millions for both you and I in the process"
With that the salesman unloaded 44 containers of go-fast bits and original genuine Empi accessories.
Grease now knew he had to ....
Doug Sweetman 路
move fast if he wanted to finish his rat look, original signage, early 50's split single cab for the upcoming show. He knew that the only way to move these parts was to display them in action, and he once again thanked the foresight of his great aunt Gertrude Grease in bequeathing her husbands split ute to him for his birthday....
helbus 路
The word had spead and Grease had become a legend before his 10th birthday.
People were coming to the realisation that veedubs were the best thing you could possibly possess.
Overnight hundreds of Sigma's, Lada's and Camira's were being dumped at SimsMetal.
Prices skyrocketed and singlehandedly Grease had started a national fever.
This now meant ....
twoguns 路
trouble was a brewing. for across town was another little boy, ralph. he had been raised in the belief that the mini would conquor the world. he has been raised blindly and with great dicipline that has seen him not only know more about minis than any other person alive. but also to believe none of the stories and achievments of the might vw. ralph even believed that herbie was a message from satan. but today ralph has stepped. forward. he has watched as lil grease has single handedly change the course of peopples transport. ralph decided it was time adn he has approached grease for a challenge....
jenz58 路
He was going to continue the rivalry which the manufacturers of the two car have had going since the '50's as the 'peoples' car
Grease Jnr knew he was on a winner VW's have been made by Volkswagen right through their history. The 'Mini' made by several over the years, BMC, Leyland (:puke), Austin, Morris...
OK they had the brick called the Mini Cooper S, but VW gave us Herbie, the fastest, smartest little beetle of a car in the whole wide world..
Herbie was a star, and Grease had a Herbie in the making. He knew he could meet any challenge that came his way, he was ready to kick arse:bounce:bounce:bounce
helbus 路
Over the next couple of years the country began to split, like the front of a 1953 Type 2 panelvan, it was straight down the middle.
Grease needed to know how to sway more people away from the bizarre front wheel drive designed Mini as he felt it would become a sickness and one day something really strange would happen.
He had nightmares of people buying mainly front wheel drive cars and in these dreams he could see that they would be built in other countries.
It was like a Brisbane Collingwood grand final. Trouble was brewing.
The two biggest things veedubs had in their favour were that everyone who loved them would be loyal to the end, and they had a good range.
People loved the Type 2, Type 3, Karmann, Verts and there were container vans for moving weapons.
The main weapons of choice were Judsons and Kadrons.
People were now beginning to....
jenz58 路
..watch Ralph and Grease very closely to see which way they should swing with their preference in rides, fickled people that they are:P
He was going to impress them with science and action combined
He was going to use his '57 beetle as a 'sleeper'. Lil Grease tweaked away, fitting a Judson supercharger and dual Kadrons and...........
*jenz calls for help, desperately!!!*
bump:thumb
[Edited on 27-9-2003 by jenz58]
Menangler 路
then he thought, mmmmmm I'v got the ultimate in go fast goodies in the top cupboard, he climbed up and opened the door, and pulled out an NOS pair of Italian weber 48 IDA carbs, already mounted on an original pair of Skat Trak manifolds. He pulled off the judson and the Kadrons, "that was never going to work" he thought, and bolted on the IDA's
Oasis 路
.... I'll have to put my Judson and My Kadrons on my REALLY fast car, not this slow one that I'm just gonna use to pick up the groceries in. While performing this shifty manoeuvre, lil Grease's teacher from the past walked in and didn't even recognise him, what, covered in grease and everything. Grease thought he'd play a little trick on her...
helbus 路
He went to the car she got out of, which happened to be a Mini.
Thinking back to the gearbox he pulled out of the 55 Splitbus and put in his Mums 52 split rear window Type 1, he remembered this reversed all the gears.
He reversed the gearbox so that the same would mow happen to Mrs Ford.
This was no easy feat as the bolts were not metric. Thank god for vice grips.
He moved to another part of the carpark and watched and waited.
He could hear a bizarre humming sound....
Peter Leonard 路
... the noise was getting louder, and soon, from behind row "e" emerged the paltry, bastardised mini of mrs ford, grinding forwards on it's single straightcut 'first' gear. if only his nemesis "mini boy" could see this now! "haahahaaarrghh" he laughed evilly!! suddenly grease boy realised he was turning to the dark side and had to stop himself from babbling about world domination, weapons of mass destruction, and neglecting to perform regular oil changes. He pulled himself together and went over to pinch...
helbus 路
..... the hoodjax off a real low 67. Just for spite he pulled the antenna ball off and stepped on it. It felt so wrong yet so right.
As he quietly sauntered back across the carpark .....
Peter Leonard 路
he stopped in his tracks. The hairs on the back of his neck prickled as he sensed he was being watched. His nemesis, ralph was standing in a pile....
helbus 路
... of radiators and waterpumps. He said they made the Mini too unreliable. They were extra weight and failed too often. He wanted to see what the air cooled side had for him.
Ralph was looking for himself. He was digging deep inside. They looked at each other the way a kombi owner looks at a Ghia. They had their differences, but there was mutual understanding and respect.
Hmmm maybe it turns out they are both ....
Peter Leonard 路
destined to settle their differences by eating huge bowls of icecream, but I doubt it. There was respect, yes it was true, but something far more worrying began to build itself inside the tiny watercooled brains of Ralph and greaseboy [he's got a name doesn't he?]. sooner or later they would have to take each other on, man to man, down the quarter mile, at high noon, or maybe the monkeybars. it was destiny at it's best. A more than slightly perturbed Mrs Ford stopped wondering what they were doing up to their armpits in radiators in the carpark and decided to speak: "...
Oasis 路
....Which one of you twits put a 55 Splitty gearbox in my mini??? I barely have enough time in my schedule for mechanical rif raf, what with all those young lives I have to ruin for good, thereby increasing the need for psychiatry in later life, and perhaps stunting mental growth in the parietal and occipital nether regions of the gyrie through psychological abuse."
Which one of you twits is going to help me drag my car off this tree?"
Peter Leonard 路
The boys looked at each other. Ralph started to drool quietly, and Grease picked his nose.
"Gnnnngnn ow nnggnn" answered Grease innocently, busy up to his third knuckle. Ralph sucked the thin trail of drool back up from his chin and smiled like a...
helbus 路
veedubber let loose in Desert Bugs back yard. This was all going to escalate and it had to happen before these two got interested in girls.
Then all of a sudden the ricer boys rolled up. A dozen cars with 22 inch rims and 2.2mm of rubber, blue light headlights, led valve caps and lit up washer nozzles all cruised in to the carpark.
The boys looked at each other and realised a common enemy. The 'NISMO', 'STI', 'MUGEN' and other various stickers glistened in the distance.
Milo tin exhausts were all making an ominous "Blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah" sound.
They knew they had to.....
Oasis 路
..RUN!!!! 20 radiators could blow at any minute. Grease boy found it hard to run with his finger half way up to his grease knuckle, and Ralph slipped on his dribble. They did make it to a gleaming black race beetle sitting under a tree with the keys in the ignition.... They decided to...
helbus 路
... go cruisin for chicks.
This was to be a big change in their lives. They were not old enough to drink beers yet - although cars seemed ok to drive as the cops couldn't catch them anyway.
When they got to Chapel St they found the pan was scraping on the road.
Ralph who was the bigger of the two jumped out and ....
Peter Leonard 路
..immediately wished he'd waited for the beetle to stop, or even slow down. Some fifty meters down the road, after Ralph had stopped rolling and whumping suavely down chapel street like a hessian bag full of potatoes, Grease resisted the urge to use Ralph's head as a safety chock and pulled over to park neatly in a...
Oasis 路
....harem tent full of lush middle eastern women. It was international egyptian day on Chapel St and we all know how egyptian women love dropped spindles. Suffice to say that Grease boy seemed very attractive until Ralph got out and raised the car 3 inches... you see Ralph was a big boy, even from an early age, and when he jumped out and the pan stopped scraping on the ground and the sparks dissipated, the harem lost interest, and now they had one hot and sweaty grease boy in their tent. So what did grease boy do?????....
Peter Leonard 路
.. Quick as a nitrous injected blown bug, Grease got out his favourite tool and smiled winningly at the third eyebrow from the left. she was hot. so hot that...
squizy 路
....that he decided to ask her name. "Rotary" she said. Immediately greaseboy thought about future mixed relationships, and knew that whilst this may be an intense relationship full and power and passion up front, that it was destined never to assist in his real bloodlines.
Peter Leonard 路
Ralph, on the other hand was far less discerning regarding his bloodlines. So Grease left Ralph in the den of iniquity to have a cruise down Lygon street and count how many restaurants had doors big enough to do drive thru orders. It was while he engaged in this innocent fun that Grease started to get a funny feeling in the pit of his belly. He was...
Oasis 路
......Overwhelmed with a feeling that Ralph and Rotary had chosen the greater of two evils and were all the better for it. We always knew that ralph liked radiators, but this was sealing Ralph's fate in a fit of rotary passion. He always was a wankel lover but this development thrusted Ralph into intense confusion. Could Ralph just settle down with just rotary, or were there other water cooled babes out there yet to rebuild? This question could be answered by....
[Edited on 1-10-2003 by Oasis]
helbus 路
... the old bloke who lived in the house on the corner. He smelled funny and his name was Lada. He had some funny last name like Samara or something similar.
Lada said to anyone who cared to listen - and he was hard to understand as he had an Eastern European accent.
He told them all that watercooled was good and that air cooled was good also, especially V8 air cooled.
For some reason he had a bit of a bitter resentment for the West German veedub, but he still accepted them as a really good design.
This is what he told the boys as he ate some cabbage.
jenz58 路
(so good to catch up on the exploits of these two young studs馃檪 What's next???:o Am imagining them in Chapel and Lygon St's LOL)
helbus 路
"You must go to the VW swap meet at Bacchus Marsh and there you will find true enlightenment"
"You must find all of the bargains and not miss out on any paraphanalia. For if you do, you will have to wait until next year when the moon aligns with nothing at all in particular"
They were amazed.
They could smell a funny smell though?
Peter Leonard 路
Grease looked down at Ralph's smouldering shoes, wondering if he was "The Flash", and if not, how he had managed to catch up so quickly after so much passion back there in the den of iniquity. At least watercooled followers were quick at something, he mused.
Not sure what to do about this sudden revelation, Grease started to pick his 'thinking' nostril, where he discovered...