Jokes / Stories

Ok. something different. Heard these two the other day. thought i would share them. There Lame so dont say i didn't warn you guys and girls.

Little billy aged 8 is walking along the street when a car
pulls up beside him. The driver of the car winds down the
passenger window and says to the little boy.

"I have some lollies if you would like to get in the car"
The little boy replys. "No. I am not getting in the car".

The driver then replys, i have some lollies and $10..
Sure you dont want to get in the car with me.

Little billy replys. "No, i wont get in the car". And keeps walking.

The driver still driving at walking pass beside the boy then
says. "You can have $50 and the lollies. Come on. Jump in.

Billy keep walking and ignores then man.

The man then asks. OK Billy. What do i have to give you, to
get you in the car.

Billy stops, looks at the man and says.

"Dad, i am not getting in the bloody car. You bought a freekin Volvo, you live with it!"

A Jail break out has occured and the escaped prisoner is desperate for shelter, food and clothes. He breaks into a house to find a young couple in bed. He ties the man to the chair at gun point and walks over to the wife and appears to kiss her on the neck.

He goes off into the other room leaving the couple in the bedroom. The Husband looks at his wife and says. The guy
is a escapee, u can tell from his clothes. He has probably
been locked up for a while and is in desperate need of sex.
I love you dear, be strong, give him what ever he asks for, regardless of the sacrafice. I will always love you no matter what. Just do as he says or he will kill us. I saw the way he
kissed you on the neck, i will always love you. Dont fight
back.

The wife looks back to the husband and whispers back.
he did not kiss me. He whispered to me he is gay, and asked where we keep the Vasoline. I told him. Be strong dear.
I will always love you!

haha love them!!

thanks!