The weirdest thing just happened...

I was just driving home and the traffic in front of me suddenly slowed then stopped... I slammed the brakes on and almost skidded into the back of the car in front, the car behind me ended up next to me, and both lanes seemed to become a massive screeching mess... Luckily nobody crashed, but when i looked up ahead there was what appeared to be a mentally disabled woman standing in the middle of the road with her arms up stopping all the cars.

Then one of the cars at the front turned out to be an off-duty cop who was still in uniform so he took care of her and walked her back onto the footpath... Strange!! :duh

When I was on my P's many years ago, I was driving down a 6 lane road - Kissing Point Rd in Dundas. As I was driving along the inside lane, I noticed a man start to cross from the far side. I thought to myself - he'll stop in the median strip and wait for us all to go past him. Unfortunately, he stepped off the median strip and kept walking. As I started to brake, then skid, I hit my horn - it was only then when he realised where he was, and started to run - straight into the side of my car, putting his elbow through my windscreen and suffering a compound fracture of the ankle. It turned out the poor fella had walked out from the local institution, and had no idea where he was. Thankfully all the witnesses support me - because as a P plater I could have been in big trouble. Scared the crap out of me, and to this day still sends shivers up my spine.

i do feel for the mentally ill as so may ppl are effected by it and im thankful that we can help as the officer did as screaming at her would probably not of helped.. bravo for the officer..

There are many more mentally ill amongst us than you'd think. When you see someone going beserk and acting with no regard for their own safety, spare a thought for what that person might be going through in their own head. I can tell you it's no walk in the park. Unwanted and abstract thoughts and perceptions can be extremely traumatic for the person experiencing them. People tend to feel that the beserker acting out near them is making them feel uncomfortable. Believe me, it's the person thats acting out that is feeling the most uncomfortable. Some of the thoughts and images that an unsound mind comes up with are far more horrific than the scariest horror film, and that's even if you're watching it late at night, on your own, with a spider crawling down your neck and a rabid dog tearing at your window.

You'll probably find that lady holding up the traffic is one of the nicest and most interesting people to talk to, when she's having a "good" day.

hear hear LCW.

my brother has suffered horrendous bouts....and my family are hugely involved with the society which helps support suffers and their family/friends....

Not because my mum wanted a heros recognition...but because we had no idea what was happening, and figured no one else did either. Over the years we have found many friends thru the fellowship, but also buried alot.

My brother no longer cries at their funerals, simply because to be dead is to finally silence the voices and delusions they suffer, and to those of us who have never suffered it, it is unimaginable. A family friend wrote a book, as the mother of the suffer. She explained quite well how bad it can be. She calls it "walking on eggshells' because that is exactly how it feels some times.

My brother is relatively well. He has been lucky enough to have a huge support network that helped him through, but more than that, he had my mum. This is a woman I admire so much.

My brother was so sick, and every day my mum spoke to him..to tell him the police were not waiting to take him away, or that he could not fly, that he was not jesus christ, or the devil...and he did not make some one pregnant by looking at them. He would call up to 50 times a day when he was at his worst...abusing her no end. She took every call, she talked till he was safe...and then took the next call. All the while raising six more kids at home. Alone and single, without a job. Before there was a thing called a pension.

So like LCW said, whatever discomfort you feel, it is worst for them. These cruel diseases makes their worst nightmares a reality.

AND BIG thumbs up to the police officer.....because many of the suffers have a fear of authority, and thrash around/beat them on sight. He took a HUGE risk getting out and helping.....but I'm glad he did. BIG THUMBS UP.

yeah i totally agree... the way he handled it was absolutely perfect... he politely got out and asked if she was ok, and then to just stay on the footpath while he moved his car off the road then they could talk... I was also surprised at all the drivers too... Not one car got angry at almost crashing... Gotta be a world first.

I'd really love to know what was going on but i figured that the cop was handling it, and that it wasn't my place to be prying into her business.

As for the comments on mental illness, I know it's not quite the same level as what a lot of people go through, but i suffer from really bad anxiety attacks...

One of the worst one's i had I was convinced the world was turning inside out, and I was the cause, so i tried to run away from myself and smashed straight into a wall... hurt my knee and bruised my head and ended up lying on my back til my head cleared...

It's a scary thing that a lot of people don't understand. It doesn't mean i'm not normal... it's just a freaky thing that happens sometimes.

And no... i don't take drugs... prescription or otherwise :P

glad to hear that the person wasnt hurt and no-one was injured in the panic to stop . mental illness is a very terriable diesese , not only is it the sufferer that is effected but the circle of familly and friends . i have great admeration for people that support the mentally ill and the great strain that it brings .they dont mean to be different , unberiable , a pain in the ass its just a chemical imbalance that can effect anyone of us throughout our lives .
live life the way we would like to be treated , be kind understanding lend a ear or help in any way we can , lifes to short to oestrasise people for something that many of us dont understand .
what a mentally ill person lacks in normality they make up for in other special gifts that are given to them to make them just as special as us .

I think mental illness is truly forgotten by people in Oz (govt's especially). I have personally battled depression and it was no picnic. I had trouble telling my folks as they are the older generation and they just keep saying to me "stop being stupid its just in your head" well no sh*t sherlock, thats why its called mental illness. It caused us to not talk for over a year and they finally realised that I wasn't some sort of freak just someone who needed time and love. In the end they came round and with the support of my fiancee, doctor and shrink I was able to overcome it.

Support networks are the best thing in the world and people involved in them are heroes in my eyes even if they don't want the recognition. The thought of going through a daily battle with yourself makes me shudder. Hopefully that woman gets the help that she needs and deserves

Maurice

hmm, i'm worried i'm gonna be locked up in the mental ward one day, things just seem so different in me compared to everyone else.

I think its probably a personality disorder, but i know i have serious bluesly moments that aren't funny :S

But anyways, it is dam freaky for the mentally ill. To have schizophrenia would be hell. (Researched up on it recently)

On the bright side though, Salvador Dali was a mild schizophrenic, and it assisted him towards his artwork (Currently researching him in depth to manipulate a therapeutic design for plans of an art studio i'm doing for him). He was only mild however.

Does anyone know when it comes to schizophrenia, is it induced by some physical deformaty in the brain, or simply mixed perceptions and experiences during the life time?

If its physical deformaty, how could u possibly cure it? if it is.

[ Edited on 30/5/2006 by bajachris88 ]

Unfortunately, schizophrenia is more of a generic term for a whole heap of conditions...which range from reality perception problems..... to manic extremes of psychosis ....they are constantly finding the definition challenged

Great words..everyone...this subject touches my family deeply...there IS a lot of work to be done...the best and easiest work is to open your eyes, and mouth and listen and ask questions...from both sides...strip back the layers of ignorance
KUDOS!


[ Edited on 30-5-2006 by Scarlet ]

free schizophrenia and psychosis TESTING:

http://www.schizophrenia.com/sztest/

I have been battling depression since suffering a mental breakdown at work 10 years ago....

I have been spending on average two months a year in a Mental clinic in sydney....

I have had 28 electric shock treatments to My brain which didn't fix anything, but took most of My memory away...
like the kids growing up, getting married etc...
all gone.... I'm still with My wife luckily, as it must have been difficult for Her... especially before I was treated correctly... and didn't know what was happening...
I've tried suicide twice.... not succeeding or I wouldn't be writing this... unless I'm a ghost writer...:P:P:P

I have met many nice people suffering all sorts of mental problems at the clinic...
As others have said, when they are "NOT" having a bad day.. they are very nice normal people...

Chris,
If You are looking for info on Schizophrenia and Psychosis,
ask on the "blue board" "beyond blue" or Depression net.com .... there are people on these forums with these disorders... and if You tell them what You are doing and want information.... I'm sure they will respond....
[ the above sites don't allow talk about suicide.]


cheers

Lee

cheers Lee.

Dam, sounds pretty serious.
I have been battling a bit of depression through school and also recently, the urge for suicide has been in my mind.
I don't like to be open about it, but since u have, i feel a little more comfortable.

I have only had thoughts, but neva tried, which is lucky. However, last week, i made sure i didn't walk across the good will bridge, and went another way, cause i was worried. Last yr was at its worst, i had to hold onto the school desk as to not let myself run out the window on the multistory building.

My Ex tried to hurt herself, shes all good now, that was about 4 hrs ago she was in front of me, trying to slit her arms with a broken piece of glass, while some dick head was cursing at her for being 'stupid, as she was doing it wrong'.

I just feel that i don't want to necessarily die, but i worry there may be situations where i will have trouble controlling myself.

Hi Chris,
No, I don't want to die either....
but in normal life [as You know] We just do what our brain tells us what to do...
When Your Brain gives You the wrong signals...
its very difficult NOT to do what it says....

I'm hoping the last stay in the Clinic -end of Dec last year until end of Feb this year was the last time....
That was after the last suicide attempt..... which I had no control over...... I was seeing a Pyschiatrist twice a month at the time.... I'm now seeing a Pyschologist locally which is much better.... the only things happening to Me now is bad headaches... which Panadeine or nurofen etc can't stop... as they aren't 'normal' headaches...
I am on a lot of Medication Morning and night...
In the Morning the drugs put My brain into gear...
and another drug to switch it into neutral at night....
then a sleeping pill to switch the brain off ...
It was good to meet plenty of people in the clinic who had tried suicide and didn't succeed.....
as it scared the hell out of Me....

Take Care

Lee

Lee,

I once suffered PND...one of the worst cases in aust. I was suicidal for approx 5 years before it was diagnosed. Every day i went to work and seemed ok...then I went home and went on a trip to hell.

Most nights were spent looking at the double locked door wondering how I could get the key off my friend to escape and kill myself. And NO having kids didnt help. It just mademe feel they'd be better off. Thankfullly I never suceeded, got help and wow...now life feels very good indeed.

Dont get me wrong, I still get blue about 10 times a year...but considering i kept a diary that shows every night how bad and how close i was...well..it put it back into perspective for me.

And thankfully, I was smart enuf to know when I was pregnant again with AJ...exactly what was happening...and how to fix it.


But honestly...Schizophreniais a whole other ball game....my brother describes it like this

Imagine the heaviest rock music u hear...really really metallic sounds...put it on loud...and leave it there ALL day and NIGHT....
and u never get to just turn it off or down....

Only on the right meds does it happen. But first u have to work out its music....u have to work out their just 'voices' and not reality. SO then u go to a doctor cause u worked out something is wrong...and the doctor gives u something to make u feel better...but it makes u feel ill...so now, u think the doctor is trying to poison u...and u dont want to take any more medication. And without the support people who u trust helping u and encouraging u back to the doctor...to a different medication...well...u can guess the rest.

Thats why support people are so necessary. They're the voice of reason in the darkness. But often people with mental illness take such a long tiem to get a diagnosis...

And another part of the problem is this. Everyone carries the gene for it. But, something triggers the imbalance. SOmetimes its just stress, a traumactic event, sometimes its drugs, or even a long term imbalance in diet. But a common thing is...most people who suffer are highly intellengent people. Above average IQ's, who often have degrees or sport achievements to their names. A number of them have travelled the world, before the disease caught them.

One man i know has done it all....even with the illness....because he simply learnt to accept what the voices sounded like, refused to believe them, and just checks into hospital if he feels he's becoming a danger. He carries three degrees.he was the main person to start and push mental health week. he, my bvrother and a number of others oushed universities about 20-25 years ago to start learning more.

They hasselled for better rights for the mentally ill. The went refused to accept that the way they were being treated is the way they deserved to be treated....and it worked.

If u think its bad today....remember...a few decades back and u'd be locked up and left. U werent permitted to marry, let alone another sufferer.

Here in brissy...mentally ill were housed with criminally insane...wow...

but thankfully, for everyone, sufferers and families alike....its come a long way.

I am amazed at the openness of people on this site, for people such as lee, Chris and others to openly discuss a subject which is so personal to them and their families.

Chris I hope if you have feelings of self harm that you have someone you can contact when you get these urges, a family member friend or GF, get in touch with them let them know you have these urges and talk about them. If you don’t or if you need someone to talk to you can contact me any time day or night on 0414 920 783.
I don’t profess to know all about mental illness but I deal with mental illness each and every day at work from mild forms of anxiety to people with acute psychotic episodes.

Our government needs to be held accountable for these lives lost and put some money back into mental health care and issues instead of closing centres down.
Cheers
ron

Hi everyone,

I believe getting support is very important....
from Family, Pyschologists and pyschiatrists ....
Local Drs do their best.... but specialists are the best...
I have very little memory of how I was at first, seeing the local Dr didn't really help...
I remember mood swings of about every few seconds .. suicidal thoughts... etc...
Head seemed like it was going to explode.... [this still happens]

Drugs are also important to treat Mental Illness
I met many people in the clinic who were there because they had stopped taking their medication....
I phoned Lifeline while in the clinic [at their suggestion]
& had a talk to caring person.... so I now have their phone number on the fridge [in large text]..
for when or IF I need to use it....

"I believe Suicide isn't because You want to die....
its just a very strong thought that You believe....."

"Just as Your brain tells Your foot to lift up when going up stairs....
its the same thing.... only the outcome is different...." these are just My thoughts...

Take Care folks

Lee

fekkinell wrote:Not one car got angry at almost crashing... Gotta be a world first.
:P

Would you if a copper was standing on the footpath?

wow i thought i was alone on this issue
i too have had major depression problems from a very early age i didnt really get over it fully till 16-17 when i left school
ive got a lovely little CNI (police record for those who dont know) from my suicide issues
it was actually how i ended up with my first VW, after years of councilling my councellor suggested i need a hobby
id always been into vws so for chrismas when i was 13 VW number 1 came along
things are going well im now a full time farm manager but i have VWs coming out my ears LOL
so many ppl with issues just dont realise there is help out there just dont be afraid to ask for it

Joel

an amazing post, possibly more unexpected in itself then the actual unexpected event which started it off. although not diagnosed i battled depression for a number of years, and what helped me realise and deal with it was a dear friend of mine, who was suicidal when i met her and whom i spent countless hours throughout highschool councilling her, believing in her, cheering her up, getting closer to her then her own family and any of her shrinks up until the latest one. after much consideration i decided that life was too short to feel down about, tried to become accepting of everything and now the only thing that makes me sad is someone elses sadness and it takes a hell of a lot to make me angry. as for my friend she is an amazing amount better then when i met her but she still has a ways to go.
i noticed in the post about hobbies a link between hippy/surf/art cultures and VW owners, maybe there is a strong link between 'mental illnesses' leading people to these hobbies/passions? it takes a special sort of person to be a true artist or surfer and maybe that special sort of person is the same sort of special person who finds the strength to either battle a 'mental illness' themselves or to really help others through theirs?

Thanks Ron.

I have tried talking to some of my friends about it before, over msn its hard, but face to face, usually end up getting told to live with it cause they are fighting though the same things. Lol, i need a gf. Seriously, i miss the tender care.

In time....

I got a select few friends that listen to me and care, but they worry. they from uni, but the trouble is i don't know em as much. + I don't want them to worry, i don't want em to have that pressure.

I usually keep it within myself, deal with it myself, and when it starts ningling up and all, i usually keep away from everyone and just deal with it by myself. I'm still here so somethings working, hopefully it keeps on like that. It should.

Hey Joel, the dub is a good outlet, but i got so many distractions from it at the moment (uni, work etc). Hopefully during the holidays.

When i was pulling apart my bug, And even when i was grinding and cutting off the aprons etc (front and rear) for the baja kit, seeing the end result was a happy experience. [CEPT WHEN SEEING THE BEFORE AND AFTER PICS, but lets not look there lol]

Wow... i didn't expect all this to come out of my silly little skidding incident hehe... It's incredible though hearing everybody's stories. Makes me feel less insecure about my anxiety problems. Normally when i tell people i suffer from anxiety attacks they kinda joke about it and mutter 'weirdo'. They clearly don't understand and i don't believe they ever will unless they've experienced it.

I also suffered from depression for a few years and still feel down occasionally. I've never really been suicidal except for when they put me on anti-depressants. I was in the spa and just remember feeling really comfortable underwater, then the next thing i knew my friends were dragging me out of the water. I swore off the tablets and spent the next few weeks weaning myself off them. In hindsight it was a very scary event but at the time i was clueless as to the severity of what was happening. It was never intentional... I think it rarely is..

My uncle's a cop in Qld and he was suffering depression (for obvious reasons for those who understand what the Police really do for us) and he was terrified to go to pistol training in case he just decided to turn his gun on himself. Ended up visiting us on two weeks leave and climbed down a cliff he used to scale as a kid... he almost fell and barely made it back to the top... in his words "it's amazing how much almost dying makes you realise that you aren't suicidal at all"

It's great that everyone feels open talking about it because it's an issue that is all too often swept under the political rug. :thumb

okey guys ive gotta come clean . after reading these posts and meetting chris for the first time a few weeks ago at the clubfest car meet , i think its my duty to confess that im a complete nutter ( joke guys ). i cant believe the honesty and cincerity of those who have talked about and told us of there illness . okey here goes ...... after receiving head traumer from a car accident i was involved in when i was 12 i lost much of my childhood memories, schooling and left me with a illness that took me many many yrs to accept . throughout my teenage yrs i couldnt understand why my life seemed to be one emontial seasaw , up one day down the next . i was different to my mates in a way i couldnt understand , even though i was well liked there where many times i felt i was alone and very emontional and deep within myself . i struggled through life stumbling through one day to the next never on a level plane . i was scared that if i confessed to my friends that i wasnt normal i would be oestrazised and i would be left out .
i continued through life working hard and had all long term jobs hiding my illness from everyone . i met a lovelly lady ( who now has been my wife and closest friend for 22yrs ) who understood what i was going through and rode my emontional trail with me , good times and many many bad .
our familly grew and so did the presures of life, in my midthirties i tryed to take my life twice , once my youngest daughter finding me in a coma
not nuderstanding why she could wake daddy up .
i spent a week in a mental hospital being accest and eventually let home , since then i have had many many hrs of councilling medication and support from a terrific familly , friends and medical staff.
i suffer from severe depression, anxioty have compulsive dissorder and
a sleep dissorder . whewwwwww glad thats all out .

chris your one step closer to helping yourself and im proud to read your cry for help . i wish i had taken the the step you have in admitting i had issues and a mental problem that could have easilly been managed through the right treatment and help , but mentall illness back then was never talked about , things where left best unsaid . to-day there is help for young people like you councilling , help lines and groups that meet and talk about there illnesses .
even though ive been affected by a very dissabilitating illness ive managed
to make the best of my life and watch my familly grow it has been the best gift one has ever been given .
one that i might have never been a part of if it hadnt been for the help i recieved .
so mate your on the right track keep going go and talk to someone that can point you in the right direction there will be no turning back you will soooooo glad you did .
from a nutter you didnt think was a nutter jeff:P

Interesting reading. Thanks everyone. I might point out, I had no undertanding at all about mental illness until I learnt that a friend of mine was suffering from serious depression, whereupon I learnt a great deal, much of which I was extremely shocked by. So although I am sure the issue has come a long way since... whenever, I think there's still little understanding of mental health in general society. This lack of understanding may need to be addressed before great strides can be made in mental health care/treatment. I hope that this can be achieved, and that it won't take some sort of individual personal involvement before we each learn about the difficulties and pain of mental illness. I'm not alone here in my ignorance am I?

There's a cool book called "Zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance" which has lots of interesting stuff in it, about life, attitudes, the world and people. I found it fascinating.

I can completly identify with the posts on this topic. I have gone through some pretty hard times, I had a pretty crappy childhood and found this very hard to deal with as a young adult. I have moments were I have felt really flat and really questioned what the point was to this whole existance. Sometimes I think that if wasn't for Rod and his love and patience I would really wonder what would have become of me. Now that I am older I still have my times of feeling really depressed and unmotivated but Rod's support puts me back on track.
I think that life is just really hard sometimes and it is actually normal to react to this.

Good on the policeman for having the compassion to deal empathically with this lady. I hope that she has recieved some treatment and is feeling better. Good on the people in the cars for also having the understanding and patience not to become angry with this lady.

it is good that you all are sharing something that is very private and normally so hard to talk about. The best thing to do is to let someone know how you are feeling and get some help.I have stood bye by husband through thick and thin good times and bad and love him dearly. Even through his eccentrisities of collecting everything I couldnt ask for a better man and am so proud that he got the help he needed and will continue to be there and support him always.
so good on you all for talking about how you feel it made me cry to read some of your anguish that you have suffered. But be assured there is help for you even if it is through talking here on the PC.
from
bugbraineds wife

I find it both increadibly sad and yet rather comforting that there are so many others out there that have in one way or another suffered from a mental illness/depression etc. Research has shown that on average one in four people suffer depression to some extent or another (I know for a fact that my 3 friends are safe and free of mental illness.) Having suffered from bouts of depression myself, I can sympathise with all out there suffering from this horrible affliction. Spent about 3 years seeing a shrink until I was about 22. I never needed any medication thankfully, but I still bear the scars both mentally and physically from numerous breakdowns. The hardest thing is telling someone that you just can't cope with it all. I remember one particular breakdown I had when I came home after a stint in hospital being patched up after a suicide attempt and trying to explain to my parents why I had my arm all bandaged up. I still feel weird when I have my left arm facing upwards and you can see the scars that I bear from that incident. It is a rather poinient reminder of that night. I remember another time when I was really feeling down and I was planning another attempt on my life and had everything all worked out ready to go. In the end I opted out of it and decided to get a tattoo instead. I figured that I would do something life-changing in a different way. I still look at it and it is a constant reminder of that day and how I overcome my urges to just give up.
I cannot stress enough to anyone suffering depression to tell someone. You will be amazed at how much help and support is out there. You are not alone on an island people. Seeing a shrink has helped me cope with the ^%$@( that life deals out on a constant basis. I might not always be 100% happy, but I am now getting by without the need for self mutilation and harm. There are better ways of dealing with life's ups and downs. :kiss
- Adam (OMG I just beared my soul. I barely talk about this to *anyone*. Damn alcahol and weak inhibitions!!!😊)

Notch Nut wrote:In the end I opted out of it and decided to get a tattoo instead.

I hear ya... wasn't cos i was thinking of ending it.. but a way of fighting the anxiety attacks... Yin Yang on the inside of my left wrist to remind me that everything is balanced in some way. Now when i freak out and feel like i can't breath, i just look at my wrist and try and remember that it's all meant to be 🙂

Don't worry Jeff, just because your human doesn't mean your a nut.

Its easier to open here too, cause when it comes face to face, its the issue of direct confrontation that makes it hard to bring out.

[ Edited on 31/5/2006 by bajachris88 ]

ahahahahaaa good point lee , its a mad mad mad world . it must be true vdubbers drivers are all mad 😂

I just want to say something about the legacy left to me by my Dad who sufferd from Schizophrenia .... to speak of the everyday courage it takes......... in the mid 70's the treatment was pretty brutal...lotsa shock treatment and pretty much drugged up to the eyeballs with very little other treatment or support offered...there was 6 kids, and my mums work was cut out for her... despite his own struggle, my dad managed to keep his job as a wharfy down for over 25 years... and despite a rocky road, was at his best, playfull, energetic, and showed us all a lotta love.... my dad passed away over 10 years ago now.... his legacy to all us kids is this undefineable courage to just keep going, with love as a motivation...this may sound corny, but its there... we are all very strong and successfull in our own right...and have unique and strong values.... Its been my battle to redefine what happiness means, I find most accepted definitions and values sub standard, and have steadily been becoming more independant and seemingly 'crazy' as a result ....... I feel and think a bit like my dad, and sometimes reckon I'm only a hairs breath away from losing it......I wouldnt have it any other way though.... cos I'm not gonna lose this battle....even if I have to stuff up a 1000 more times

cheers again
Anthony

well said scarlet, especially about the fact that seeing what happened to your father had a positive effect on the rest of your life, i have long believed that being amongst such things gives people a diffrerent set of life values, because death is on your mind life becomes more valuable, a time not to be wasted, you do things for passion, if you are not passionate about something it fails, and by the same token, because you are disposed to do only what you feel passionate about you have a drive for success unlike that of those who have not experianced similar feelings and situations. i have often felt that many of those who i grew up with, if they do not crash and burn, will become very successful people in their own ways for that very reason. i can also relate to your sensation of being on the edge of 'losing it' i have the same sensation often enough to be paranoid about ever seeing a psychiatrist, but given the choice i cant think of any sort of person i'd rather be.

I just want to tell you something else...

to tell u from anothe rpoint of view why u shoudl avoid suicide....and tlak abotu hwo u feel so others can help you.

10th of may this year...my family endured the pain of having lost my younger brother to suicide...10 years ago.

There is not a day that my mother misses him. Not a day when she has not said a pray hoping and wishing for his happiness and peqce. She and I often talk about this because I was the last person he talked to before he died. She often...even 10 years later...wants to be reassured nothing she or my family could have done, would have made a difference.

You see, He mixed drugs, and alcohol. He had a fight with his gf...and on any other day it prolly just would have been another fight they kissed and made up over...but on this night...it was bad. He called me, as I was walking out of a movie and into a car park. I stopped to talk, cause i knew something was up...but lost the signal.

I was in NSW...and he was in QLD so i couldnt go search for him.

I tried his number, and no luck...so i drove off towards my house, knowing i'd have a much lcearer signal there. But within a short period of time...i felt bad....just really really bad. I knew something was wrong.

I couldnt raise him. or mum. SO left it. I figured I'd try in the morning.

I got a call at 6.00am the next morning, telling me him jumped from William Jolly bridge, and his body was lost.

I came back to QLD, and eventually his body was found. Betwen the jump, and his body being found was mothers day. No one celebrated it.

Then, because my family were all suffering a break down to some extent, I was the one asked to organise his funeral. It was horrid. My dad just wanted to hide it all....and my mum wanted him life celebrated. So we all went with celebrating it. And we do...every year, on his borthday and his anniversary ...we celebrate his life.

You see, my younger borther was my eldest brothers biggest supporter. He loved his older borther and I remebmber once...Andrew told him not to worry about the voices...that hsi would always be louder...then he'd scream he loved Paul (elder brother) until Paul confirmed he'd heard him, and knew andrew loved him...hehe

Tragedy of it all was....other than that one night, Andrew had never suffered depression. He was an incredible acheiver. the type who won awards without trying. And he was one of the greatest campaigners for pushing mental illness and all the problems associated out into the public. He went with my brother to meetings, to talks to support him...even doing his own talk in high school about how horrible it would be to suffer, and to reach out. He used to say...its crazy to say their crazy. Their just having troubles...ones that can be controlled if people help them.

So about 300 people attended his funeral. From all walks of life.

Considering he was 19, thats a pretty amazing figure.

There is not a celebration that isnt a little less than all it could be, because he isnt with us.

We loved him no end. He felt he couldnt contribute to society anymore. He felt things would oly get worst before they got better.

Thing is...in the last moments of his life...he changed his mind...and turned around to get off the bridge. Witnesses have testified to this. BUT, he lost his footing getting off....and fell the wrong way. He fell backwards off the bridge and into the water.

So, I'm glad no-one here todays has suceeded in their desires...and I do understand them, having been caught in those horrid cycle of thoughts myself. But the pain left behind...for others to feel...just cannot be described. It can be so horrible. And made worst because they have to scar to show and say.."see, this is why im in pain'

I dont mean to bring u down....i just hope u can gain a glimmer of understanding.

I know for me, from that day I, I always said...if i feel down, and like i want to die...i will ask for help first. If it doesnt come, then...

and thankfully i never got to then...people have always come and helped me through.

:kiss

when going into perth the other day a girl ran in front of my car at the lights .She had a big coat on ( it was cold ) 715am .Then all of a suden she droped the coat she had no clothes on under the coat !

I had to get out the car & help her , looks like it was a photo shoot for a mag

Made my day

God that was nice !

Now that is different....

Who was the most embarrassed?? :P:P:P


Lee

God I loved that day ( ! )

I held the ligts up twice , just had to sit there

gull wrote:God I loved that day ( ! )

I held the ligts up twice , just had to sit there and have a pull

Huh?????????:jesus

baybuscamperkid wrote:well said scarlet, especially about the fact that seeing what happened to your father had a positive effect on the rest of your life, i have long believed that being amongst such things gives people a diffrerent set of life values, because death is on your mind life becomes more valuable, a time not to be wasted, you do things for passion, if you are not passionate about something it fails, and by the same token, because you are disposed to do only what you feel passionate about you have a drive for success unlike that of those who have not experianced similar feelings and situations. i have often felt that many of those who i grew up with, if they do not crash and burn, will become very successful people in their own ways for that very reason. i can also relate to your sensation of being on the edge of 'losing it' i have the same sensation often enough to be paranoid about ever seeing a psychiatrist, but given the choice i cant think of any sort of person i'd rather be.

Spot effing on the money mate!...its like a battle against mediocrity, within yourself and the way you experience the world.... guranteed to be a rocky road...but thats why they started making Baja's right...:P:P:bounce