News Flash

News Flash:

An Australian man was arrested in Italy for assault on a local man this morning following the match between Italy and Australia.

Witnesses say the Australian man was 20 metres away from the victim when the incident happened.

The victim suffered a fractured skull, a cardiac arrest and developed diabetes type 2 as a result of the incident.

He is expected to make a full recovery within minutes.

A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule and a calculator.
At a morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement.
He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.




"Al-gebra is a problem for us," Gonzales said. "They desire solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute value. They use secret code names like 'x ' and 'y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with co-ordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer
Isosceles used to say: 'There are three sides to every triangle'."




When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes."

That was in yesterdays paper ???

You READ the paper?? :jesus

Bizarre wrote:Attorney General Alberto Gonzales said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement.

They are also looking for I-Zheet Madrawz, Whou Fa'arted, I-Puhl ma Diqout and Al-Farqd Up