Can't guarantee that they will improve though.


"Have you ever seen a twenty dollar note all crumpled up?" asked the wife.

"No," I said.

She gave me a sexy little smile, reached into her cleavage and pulled out a crumpled twenty dollar note.



"Have you ever seen a fifty dollar note all crumpled up?" she asked.

"No," I said.

She gave me another sexy little smile, reached into her knickers and pulled out a crumpled fifty dollar note.



"Now," she said, "have you ever seen 50,000 dollars all crumpled up?"

"No," I said, intrigued.

"Well, go and take a quick look in the garage."

Oh yeah, great!!!!.....Now everyone will blame me. Very clever move.

How about the bank robber who forgot to pull down his balaclava, before pointing his gun at the teller.

"Did you see my face?" he asked the teller, as he pulled down his balaclava.

"Yes" said the teller, so the robber shot the teller. He turned around and saw a couple standing there.

"Did you see my face?", he asked the man, who replied:-

"No, but the wife did!".

oldies but still goodies