Came across this one on another website but it's good.
Here we go folks. Regrettably I have to put my panty dropper, Oldsmobile 98 up for sale (wifes orders). From its provocative curves to the paint job that screams testosterone, never in your life will a car make you so appealing to the creatures we call "women." Just put your finger on the power window button and let that wind flow through your hair. Hit a bump and spill that Pilsner in your right hand? No worries, this beaut is equipped with leather seats for easy clean-up. The car is absolutely loaded to the nuts with every option available in '96. Features include: Doors, tires, steering wheel (leather wrapped for comfort), seats, and a working radio. I know what you are all thinking, "Am I man enough to handle a car this rugged?" The answer is no, you aren't. I tried to be. I trimmed my nails with a hack saw, grew my beard to unbearable lengths, ate nothing but lumber for a week straight, and round house kicked a Moose unconscious. The car laughed hysterically at my failed attempts at manliness. But this beaut is definitely a head turner and will have women flocking around it at all times. Recent studies have proven this theory. Since the dawn of '96, there are three things every woman have wanted in a guy: Tall, Dark, and drives a f***ing Oldsmobile 98. On a side note, all previous owners have had a beard so if you are a clean shaven, tapout shirt wearing kind of guy, then this car isn't for you. The jacked up diesel trucks are in a different category. Look at you. You don't even know what to do with yourself right now. I suggest you take a deep, masculine breath, and pick up the phone. Once this car is gone, every woman on the planet will pile into it and you will be SOL. REDUCED from $50,000 to $2,950 for quick sale.

hah!