SWEARING AT WORK

Dear Employees:

It has been brought to management's attention that
some individuals
throughout the company have been using foul language
during the course of
normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to
complaints received from
some employees who may be easily offended, this type
of language will be no
longer been tolerated. We do however, realize the
critical importance of
being able to accurately express your feelings when
communicating with
co-workers.
Therefore, a list of "TRY SAYING" new phrases has
been provided so that
proper exchange of ideas! and information can
continue in an effective
manner.

1) TRY SAYING:
I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF:
You don't know what the f___ you're doing.

2) TRY SAYING:
She's an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF:
She's a ball-busting bitch.

3) TRY SAYING:
Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF:
And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?

4) TRY SAYING:
I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF:
No f______ way.

5) TRY SAYING:
Really?
INSTEAD OF:
You've got to be sh--ing me!

6) TRY SAYING:
Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF:
Tell someone who gives a s--t.

7) TRY SAYING:
I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF:
It's not my f______ problem.

8) TRY SAYING:
That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF:
What the f___?

9) TRY SAYING:
I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF:
This s--t won't work.

10) TRY SAYING:
I'll! try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF:
Why the hell didn't you tell me sooner?

11) TRY SAYING:
He's not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF:
He's got his head up his a__.

12) TRY SAYING:
Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF:
Eat s--t and die.

13) TRY SAYING:
So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF:
Kiss my a__.

14) TRY SAYING:
I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF:
F___ it, I'm on salary.

15) TRY SAYING:
I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF:
Shove it up your a__.

16) TRY SAYING:
I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF:
This job sucks.

17) TRY SAYING:
You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF:
Who the hell died and made you boss?

18 ) TRY SAYING:
He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF:
He's a prick.

Thank You,
Human Resources

Im loving that .

that's funny
I will have to teach my husband to use (no 2) when I tell him FIX MY CAR!!!!
Jodie

Beingwell known for my somewhat colourful vocabulary, I had a young woman at work pull me aside to inform me that she found my language offensive.
I told her she was lucky, most people find my very presence offensive.

As far as I know she is still trying to figure it out........

Hahaha, its all good!! :thumb

Now thats funny!

I realize in most cases polite way of saying is shorter than adding foul language in..

When I started my current job I was using the first examples. I was polite and patient ..... now I use the second lot of examples ! ......

Im not sure this can be implemented at my work!

HAHAHA!

ha ha ha ha
my work is a lost cause.

I printed it out anyway though!!