You might be a ricer when..
boxofrabbits - December 22nd, 2005 at 12:18 PM
You have more exhaust decibels than your engine has horsepower
You have aftermarket FRONT wheels for racing but stock rear wheels.
Your engine makes twice as much horsepower as torque.
17" rims up front, 13" out back on your FWD.
You ever painted your wheels to match the same color of your car.
You put your automatic car in neutral at every stoplight in order to roll it back and try to fool other people into thinking you have a manual
transmission
DuPont gave up trying to figure out the shade you were asking for.
Your mod list includes stereo equipment, shifter handle, MOMO steering wheel, PIA driving lights, exhaust tip, but no REAL engine parts.
A chameleon lizard undergoes fewer shade changes than your custom paint scheme.
Your rims and tires are so large, that you have to install the tire / wheel from underneath the car because it simply won't fit in the wheel
well going in from the side.
The dealer laughs when you bring your car back in for service under warranty, and you've only had it 6 months...
Your tires / rims stick out from the lip of your car by more than 1."
Your paint job is from the WRONG end of the color spectrum.
You installed spacers on your STOCK wheels and tires to get them to stick out past the fender.
You see cars like yours in a Shriner's Parade for Children and clowns are driving them.
You bring an empty Milo tin with you to compare size when you shop for an aftermarket exhaust system.
Your Eclipse GS-T hardtop has a "SPYDER" emblem on the rear...
Your sum knowledge of suspension is: "the more negative camber, the better the handling."
You push your car through the staging lanes. That way, maybe you can break into the 16s by keeping the motor cool between runs.
You add a super tall rear wing, and a hundred pounds of aftermarket ground effects, neon and stereo yet you gut the interior and yank out the
rear seat for weight savings.
Your rear wing AND your rear window have a third mount brake light...
The back lighting in the gauges in your A-pillar gauge pod work long before the actual gauges are hooked up.
You cut 4 coil springs and scrape the chassis on the ground. Sparks are cool when you corner at normal traffic speeds!
You have to find a way to drive AROUND speed bumps in a parking lot.
You install clear corner and brake lights.
You install colored bulbs in your aftermarket clear lenses.
You ever put neon on the bottom of your car, and then busted it on the first speed bump you went over.
You painted the UNDERBODY of your car to match
If your rear spoiler is taller then you are.
if you can fit fist fuck your exhaust tip
You have more stereo WATTS than engine TORQUE!
If your tailpipe extension is the most expensive mod you’ve done to your engine yet.
Your tailpipe extension fell off during a quarter mile race and you went three tenths of a second faster due to weight savings.
EVERY car in your class has a turbo pushing double digits worth of boost.
You spent $5,000 on the engine and you can not out run a stock Camaro, Firebird, or Mustang
You want the 'wastegate' sound, but don't want to install a turbocharger system.
You think Nitrous Oxide on your Hyundai Sonata puts you in the same performance league as the Chevy Corvette.
The automatic version of your car runs 2 seconds slower in the 1/4mile.
If the 1970 Plymouth Daytona Superbird has a smaller spoiler than your car does.
You think the Del Sol is a sports car...
A torque converter does NOTHING for your car.
You think a deep farty noise = the sound of high performance
If you think that horsepower is far more important than torque
If you have ever claimed that switching to a cone filter has given you more than 5 HP.
If you have ever considered installing more than one set of fog / driving lights.
If you claim that the aftermarket cold air intake system you just installed doubled your horsepower or took 2 or more seconds off of your E/T.
Your baseball cap is always on backwards when you drive (the first sign of mental retardation, wearing your clothes backwards... BE).
You spent all night on the Internet trying to find a company that makes a turbocharger system for your Hyundai...
If you removed your side view mirrors and put them at the TOP of the door / window frame.
If you think the Fugees are 'speed' music.
MOMO is 'absolutely required' to go fast.
Your four cylinder has a dual exhaust system installed.
Your four cylinder has four exhaust pipes ("Hey, one for each cylinder!")
The color of your interior upholstery hurts the cones and rods in other people's eyes.
If you cannot drive your car in snow as the ground effects create a plow effect.
If you have installed driving lights to compensate for headlight blackouts / tape.
If you think that 180 horsepower and 185 lb/ft of torque are impressive for a ‘mildly’ modified engine.
If you have stickers on your car for parts that you could not point out if asked where those parts are installed.
You think pushrods are a bad thing…
Your car has more decals than you do the quarter in seconds.
Every Honda you EVER owned, all the way back to your
1978 Accord was either a V-Tec or a TYPE-R.
You took your rear seat out and gutted your interior for
weight savings but you installed 400 pounds of electronics, neon, DVD, Sony, etc.
If you gutted the interior to save weight on a car that you will never take to the track…
You lean your seat so far back when you are driving, that every time you hit a bump, its your back and not your butt that hurts.
You have hydraulics and sixteen switches on a car you claim runs low 10s on the street and corners better than a Porsche.
If you can estimate that your car makes more than 250 HP without ever running it at the track or getting a dyno reading.
You claim that you can get a titanium block for your engine.
If you have ever thought Hyundai and "performance" went hand in hand
If you've ever gone to a parts shop or speed warehouse and asked for a 1" to 6" exhaust adapter...
If you've ever contemplated adding "TYPE-R" stickers to your Sonata…
If you've removed more than 1/2 of the coils from your springs by cutting them yourself ...
If you have more neon lights on your car than a strip club...
You put Kanji on your Ford ZX2, Ford Probe, or Mercury Cougar ...
You own a "TYPE-R" Hyundai or Mazda.
You couldn't afford headlight masking, so you just painted them with flat black Krylon and it's peeling. Badly.
You claim that polishing your intake gave you 5hp.
You own a V-TEC Hyundai or Mazda (especially a V-TEC rotary engined Mazda RX-7)
You have neon INSIDE your car or in your ENGINE compartment
You ever claimed that high gas mileage made your car superior in performance to V8s.
If it takes you 8000rpm to reach 30mph from a dead stop at WOT.
You think yellow plastic interior trim makes your car cool
You spend $500 for a giant hand welded tube for a muffler with the weld marks extremely visible
If you paint your drum brakes to simulate Hi-po calipers
If you install fake hi-po caliper / disc simulators
You have a front wing.
If you lower your car and add ground effects but retain the stock 14inch wheels with disc style wheel covers
If you equate the sound of performance with the sound of a Weed Eater™
If you think bolting a fake muffler to one side to simulate dual exhaust is cool
If you think colored head lights work better
Clear tail lights and turn signals. They’re colored for a REASON!
If you take mom's 4 door Honda accord and do any kind of mod to it
You drive a Ford Escort station wagon with Kanji, wide tires, and Limp Bizkit stickers on the rear hatch
You claim you lost the race because you had a passenger in the car.
You claim how if you went from a roll you would have beat him.
You claim you lost because you missed a shift... and your car is an automatic.
You claim you lost because he must have been on the juice..
Flying past the person who is 10 car lengths in front of you after they have put on their brakes.. and claim a victory.
after losing you flip your opponent off... rev your motor and fail to break the wheels loose even around a corner.
Tell everyone about how you lost the cop because of your "driving skills."
You are a white kid driving an import.. wear baggy pants/hat turned around, walk with a fake limp and end every sentence with "yew know wha
I'm sayin? Relate."
Your idea of aiming a handgun is raising your arm over
your head, pointing the gun away from you, and then just letting your wrist fall to the side to where the gun is almost sideways ...
Drive around in a $20,000 import with $10,000 in mods.. and still live with your parents.
You can relate to every line of the song "Pretty Fly For A White Guy" by the Offspring
You take offense when I say.. "your sister is like your car.. small, tight and hard to get into."
[ Edited on 22-12-2005 by boxofrabbits ]
HotRodMatt - December 22nd, 2005 at 12:21 PM
Would this be the 16th time this has been posted?
PrettyBlueBug - December 22nd, 2005 at 12:24 PM
Can't be bothered reading all that! 
58SPLIT - December 22nd, 2005 at 12:40 PM
THIS JSUT ABOUT SUMS IT UP.....HEE HEE!


blutopless2 - December 22nd, 2005 at 12:54 PM
love the exhaust on the second one.... 
Anirok - December 22nd, 2005 at 01:05 PM
lol Looks like Lego
58SPLIT - December 22nd, 2005 at 01:31 PM
RICER EXHUASTS....HEE HEE......



pete wood - December 22nd, 2005 at 02:05 PM
special fried rice 

modulus - December 22nd, 2005 at 02:29 PM
....your car has two sets of twin 2" exhaust pipes....
No, wait, that's my next door neighbour's BMW X5...
ancientbugger - December 22nd, 2005 at 04:21 PM
Christ they've got more plastic than my buggy:jesus
mscabrio - December 22nd, 2005 at 04:26 PM
Clear tail lights CHECK
Loud big ass dual exhaust CHECK
Neons CHECK
Big bling wheels CHECK
Hmmmmmmm ??????? I must drive boiled rice
VWSlammer - December 22nd, 2005 at 04:49 PM
love the blanked out rego..wouldn't want any one to recognise the GTPOS.

(Great Thundering Piece of Shit)
PrettyBlueBug - December 22nd, 2005 at 05:04 PM
That first car is definitely made of Lego! 
boxofrabbits - December 22nd, 2005 at 06:11 PM
Quote: |
Originally
posted by Pretty_Blue_Bug
That first car is definitely made of Lego!
|
hehe and then blown with a hairdryer to melt away the gaps
DIY-DUB - December 22nd, 2005 at 06:13 PM
i like my rice, but i add some curry in with it! that sheit up ^^^ there is just horrid tho what a way 2 ruin a previousl nice president and chaser,
VIP dori style all the way 4 me!
buzzbox - December 22nd, 2005 at 08:15 PM
*when you crank the sub-bass at the lights..in case somebody cares,
the lack of porting and the airtight seals on your heartbreakingly new and efficient rubber boot seals cause the panels to flex in and out like Rolf
Harris's wobbleboard...
because the metalwork is so thin that it may as well have been electroplated onto the paintwork.
*you can effortlessly overtake most pre-80's vw's, mostly when it's not necessary.
DIY-DUB - December 22nd, 2005 at 08:22 PM
even funnier when you return the favour @ the next set of lights buzzbox. hehehehe...
jo_tas - December 22nd, 2005 at 08:43 PM
Quote: |
Originally
posted by modulus
....your car has two sets of twin 2" exhaust pipes....
No, wait, that's my next door neighbour's BMW X5...
|
My type 3 has that too! (GT Monza exhaust)
Does this make me a ricer?? LOL
[ Edited on 22-12-2005 by jo_tas ]
DIY-DUB - December 22nd, 2005 at 08:47 PM
german rice is more acceptable, go for the cannon style fatboy muffler then u can be fully sick cuz! lol
58SPLIT - December 22nd, 2005 at 08:47 PM
bling bling! bling bling!
is that my ricer linging u plick?

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v365/deca000/ricer11.jpg
buzzbox - December 22nd, 2005 at 08:55 PM
well.. i think that ones' kinda cool:duh..
what the hell was it? a Torana?
jo_tas - December 22nd, 2005 at 09:53 PM
Hey some of those cars (especially the last one) aren't actually ricers.
Its a different form i've seen before... based on anime style cartoons.
I quite like it! its certainly different!
decked dubby - December 23rd, 2005 at 06:39 AM
Quote: |
Originally
posted by buzzbox
well.. i think that ones' kinda cool:duh..
what the hell was it? a Torana?
|
Datsun 240k
buzzbox - December 25th, 2005 at 09:25 PM
Datsun 240k !!
Nice Spotting.
My only other guess was maybe a late Lancer.
"based on anime style cartoons" makes sense.
Nothing beats the thrill of arriving with a screeching halt at an horrific cyborg-crime scene, with jets of steam hissing out from under each wheel
arch as your vehicle slowly sinks onto the kerb.
You climb out ,wearing a suit jacket, a thin black tie but no shirt, light a long skinny cigarette and remark, casually "you interrupted my hot date
with Akuna for THIS?"