I was driving down the street recently on my way to the International Airport... I really shouldnt have been cos I was a bit tired to be honest, after I stepped into the path of a B-double by accident. (bdump TSSHH ) But anywho... yeh, driving down the street on my way to the airport, I noticed these two guys acting suspiciously... had a bit of an audience amassing across the road too! This piqued my interest, so I pulled over to have a geezer. Well.. would ya believe it???.. one of these waxheads was eating firecrackers, whilst his mate drank battery acid! a moment later the fuzz come screaming round the corner... a patrol car and a paddywagon. The guys were quickly detained and chucked in the paddywagon then carted off, whilst the boys from the patrol car stuck around for some questioning. Out of interest, I asked one of the cops what the punishment is for such an absurd offence... his reply: " Well, one of the guys will probably be charged mate, but from what I can gather from the statements so far, it looks like we'll end up letting the other one off." (bdump TSSHH!!!)

ANyway... after I gave my statement, as ya do when youve witnessed a crime taking place, I made for the airport post-haste, as I was already later than I'd have liked. I got there with some time to spare, however my problems had only just begun... I ended up in a bitter argument with an official at the terminal, who intercepted me as I walked sideways through the turnstyle. He was frantically shouting "Sir!!! you are going to Bangkok!!!" (bdumpTSHHH!!!!)

After finally convincing the guy I was actually going to China, I boarded in just the nick of time. The flight was pretty pleasant if one discounts the bad food... I specially pre-ordered Peking duck, and got more than I bargained for... the duck would not stop trying to look up the lady in the next seats skirt! (bdump TSHHH!!!)

Landing was quite uneventful, but delayed due to a fighter blocking the runway for 30 minutes... the pilot was apparently a Capt. Wung Wyng Lho. BOOM BOOM!

give it up schmo:cry:cry:cry

dude - lay off the magic mushrooms..... lol

nick