Hi guys, thanx for all your help last week in the stealing pole. It gave me some relevant insights and helped me out a lot.
This week I'm teaching on the 9th commandment, "you shall not bear false witness against your neighbour". I know it's not exactly the same as lying but, after your help last week I'd like to hear what you all think about 'lying'.

So, answer the pole and if you can, explain what an "X" situation is.

Also, what are "white lies"?

Any stories or experiences from a 'liar' or 'liee' perspective would be greatly appreciated too.

I think lying is wrong however, there are sometimes good reasons to not tell the truth. Basically, if the truth could cause more harm than a white lie, then a white lie will win out - especially for kids. When I lost my Mum, the amount of information I shared about her illness varied depending on the child who was asking. It varied from Nanny got sick, to Nanny had this, and this, and this. Of course - you don't want kids worrying themselves about things that are outside of their control.

However, I remember when my Mum got sick many years ago, they never quite told me what was going on, and I kept on reading the signs, and not getting an answer. It wasn't until I was watching something with my Mum one night and asked her if that was happening to her. I don't think my parents realised that I was old enough to know a little more about what was going on.

I believe that in life, we all have principles that we live by. Some of them are things that we may have been exposed to as we were growing up by way of religion, others you learn yourself by your own life experiences. The important thing I feel is that no matter what, if the decision that you make passes your own litmus test, in that you feel right personally in making that decision, then you should be comfortable in making that choice. No matter what the outcome, so long as you feel that you made the decision and took everything into consideration, then you should be happy with that. I hope that makes sense.

i would put money on the fact that every married man on this site has "underestimated" aka lied about the price of some car bit they have brought home.

also any male that has ever had a girlfriend has lied about the "does my ass look big in this/is my outfit ok" question. " no darling you look look sh!t but we're already late so you'll just have to suffer" hmmmm... more like "yes, you look really good".

plus at least 95% of people here would have chucked a sickie at some stage.

i as a general rule try not to lie, but am guilty of all of the above. i'll try avoid getting in situations that mean i have to lie about serious matters. or just cop it sweet,

in sone ways the underestimating prices is a game my wife and i play, i find "cheap" car bits (or the good old "no, i've had that for ages") she gets cloths/shoes, stuff for the house "on sale" or "i've been paying it off for a while". i know that she is telling furphies and she knows i am, but as long as it doesn't create a hole in the budget we both just let it slide so our own purchases don't get questioned.

I'd be lying if I said that I was looking at AVD during my lunch break..

what about manipulations of the truth...

if what u speak is the truth, but not the whole thing... than is that ok? :P

Does the old testament count as a lie or a manipulation

Quote:

Originally posted by Notch Nut I'd be lying if I said that I was looking at AVD during my lunch break..

Would it be wrong if you lied and it caused no hurt?

I lied today...

the uni assignment i was finishing today was due yesterday (go figure... ), but my dear mother was anxious as to when it was due. i told her it was due by middnight tonight... resultin in a happy, calm mudda!

Would have been blazing saddles otherwise.

Pete

What about the reverse

ie - is telling the truth wrong.

Can think of situations where telling the truth only causes heartache and pain.
I dont know - just about any personal relationship would have a situation where yes - there is some facts
But all would have been better off it the truth wasnt told

Pete.

When I lie to my wife, I get in trouble.
eg. - Yes, I enjoy listening to all of your daily problems during Top Gear, no really...please continue....

When I tell her the truth.......I get in trouble
eg. - Yes I was at the pub with my mates the whole time getting pissed.


Truth...Lies.....it really doesn't matter in the end. The outcome is all the same really...

What we need are answers to lifes greatest mystery of them all.......



What oil is best to run my aircooled VW on all year round?
- Adam

Tricky topic. Lying is wrong, but so is using words to hurt people. Sometimes you have to balance them to minimize the pain. I remember a few years back my father-in-law had a brain hemorage (spelzor) and was in hospital. We were babysitting the two grandkids. We got the phone call that he had passed away from the parents, and they were coming back from the hospital to pick up the kids. When they arrived, the younger one (about 8) saw them coming, and turned to me and asked if poppy had died. I was stuck, I couldn't say no as he would find out very quickly that I had lied, and I also knew the parents wanted to tell the kids - but he had asked a straight question and he deserved a straight answer. So told him that he had just died and mummy wanted to talk to him about it. Fortunately the parents understood my position.

The other side of the coin is what if your silence in a particular situation allows a lie to develop. e.g. you overhear a conversation and something is said that is mis-interpreted. Keeping silent can effectively be lying.

something ive learnt working down on the waterfront..
you lie for a member
never to a member..
theres something in that for all of us..

In all instances lying is wrong, its not to say ppl dont do it, its a matter of knowledge of the fact and doing it anyway. i personally am guilty of what my wife calls "lying by omition" i just dont say anything.

as for kids, lie to them and that is what they learn. tell them the truth in a way they can understand and teach them to harden up and acept reality, its amasig what they can understand and absorb without freaking out if handled properly. most of the lying for kids is because of parent laziness, "oh this is just going to take too long so ill ust lie to get out of all the hard questions". lying leads to superstitutions (refer to stealing thread controversy) and how this will be related to those young pliable minds on that sunday morning, which incidently is the wrong day for christians to be communing with their invisible overlord.

again many ppl do it and just write it off as acceptable "everyone else is doing it" it is a learned behaviour.

in the words of Homer Simpson
"it takes two to lie, one to lie, the other to listen"