A teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to
her class. She came to the part of the story where the first pig
was trying to gather the building materials for his home.

She read,..... "and so the pig went up to the man with the
wheelbarrow full of straw and said: 'Pardon me sir, but may I
have some of that straw to build my house?"

The teacher paused then asked the class: " And what do you
think the man said?" One little boy raised his hand and said very
matter of factly:............

"I think the man would have said: "Well, f*ck me! A talking pig!"
The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

hehehheee yeah i can see that happening !
good one

Thats an OLD joke

Thats an OLD joke

could you give me the name of that bloke cause i could use the straw to build my house with and a talking pig woul be a great help as well
Kurt

What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?

Nothing, she's been told twice already.

Good one spook!!!


A woman decides to have a facelift for her 47th birthday. She spends
$15,000 and feels pretty good about the results.
On her way home she stops at a news-stand to buy a paper. Before leaving
she asks the salesclerk "I hope you don't
mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?"
"About 32," the clerk replies.

"I'm actually 47," the woman says happily. A little while later she goes
into McDonald's and asks the counter girl the same
question.

She replies, "I'd guess about 29."

The woman replies, "Nope, I am 47!" Now she is feeling really good about
herself.

While waiting for the bus home, she asks an old man the same question.

He replies, "I'm 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when I was young,
there was a sure way to tell how
old a woman was, but it requires you to let me put my hands down your
panties. Then, I can tell exactly how old you are."

They waited in silence on the empty street until curiosity got the best of
the woman and she finally says, "What the hell,
go ahead".

The old man slips both hands down her panties and begins to feel around.

After several minutes she says, "Okay, how old am I?"

He removes his hands slowly and says, "You are 47."

Stunned, the woman says, "That's amazing. How do you know?"

The old man replies, "I was behind you in McDonald's."

LMFAO!