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posted on January 30th, 2004 at 02:53 PM
cant kill bug motors
I got this from a US group that I am in...
About 12 years ago my wife and I were passing a car dealership. They had just had one of those PUSH, PULL OR TOW sales and had a lot of clunkers on
the lot. That’s when I saw it, a blue 1962 Baja, just what I needed!! After doing a donut in the middle of the road, scaring my wife to death, (and
being hit several times with a purse) I whipped into the car lot ran over to the bug and told it not to worry, it was going home with me. Back to my
car, find my checkbook, 300.00 bucks (and being hit several more times with the purse for buying a useless piece of crap), the car was mine.
I immediately found out why it had been traded in, it didn’t run. There was a big puddle of oil under the engine, “Hmmm…” say I, “It’s a
VW, its not froze up, it turns over, it should crank.” My wife, embarrassed by the snickers from the salesmen leaves me with my tools and goes home.
An hour later after cleaning the oil off the plugs, filing the corrosion off the points, getting the sand out of the gas line and three quarts of oil
later, I hop in the car (careful not to hop to hard as there is a large hole cut under the drivers seat), I turn the key and she fires off, proudly
banging away on two cylinders and covering the nearby area in a cloud of blue smoke. Thanks Mr. salesman for my temp tag and down the road I go!!!
On the way home I stop by the local auto parts store and get some new points, plugs, distributor cap, rotor, plug wires, oil and a new strainer and a
little Chiltons manual for VW’s, so I knew the settings for the stuff and to my house I go. First thing to do, pick up the driver seat and weld a
plate over the hole so I wouldn’t get a case of road rash on my ass if the seat fell through it. With that done, to the points, plugs etc, etc…
two hours later, new stuff installed, and now running on three whole cylinders and with a lot less smoke, I’m scooting around the neighborhood in my
really cool Baja.
The next several months I enjoyed my new toy, as problems came up they were fixed. Loose belt? A few screws in the doghouse that someone left out
fixed that. No gas getting to the engine? Out comes the tank and removed a couple quart jugs of sand from it fixed that. Massive amount of smoke from
wiring harness just before it incinerated itself? A roll of bell wire from Wal-Mart fixed that. Starter goes out? Just push it off. Three inch body
lift, adjustable front end, some reduction gear axles and a John Johnson adapter kit (I wish I had another one of those!!) fixed the tire scrubbing
problem. And if you are putting the reduction gear axles on your car and someone you haven’t seen in awhile comes over, run them off till you finish
so you won’t forget to flip the ring gear while you are talking to them. This will keep you from making big holes in your garage door when you try
to act cool by dumping the clutch with your new reduced gears!
The only problems that couldn’t be fixed easily were the one missing cylinder, the smoke, (runs off skeeters) and oil that leaked out of every seam
in the engine. Oh well, didn’t have time to fix that I thought since I was changing jobs and moving and stuff. I take my bug to the new house and
park it till we get moved in. After getting settled in I go out and crank up the bug, battery still charged, I think I’ll drive it tomorrow…hmmm,
no oil….ok, get some on the way to work. Next day, after getting to work…forgot the oil….ok….get some on the way home….after getting home
that night….oh crap, forgot the oil…ok, I’ll get some out of my wife’s car before she leaves for work tomorrow.
6 A.M. next morning while we are getting ready for work, phone rings and my boss says they have had an accident and I have a couple days off with pay
till its straightened out, since its Thursday that means a four day weekend, YAHOO!! Of course this doesn’t go over to well with the wife because
she has to work. (And I get whacked with the purse on her way out the door.) Hmm…what to do this early in the morning when you have nothing to do?
“A-HA” say I…”I’ll go over to Moms house for some real breakfast instead of choking down a breakfast burrito.”
So, all excited about the prospect of real pancakes and bacon out the door I go, hop in the bug, fire it up, wake up all the neighbors (god, I love
that unmuffled stinger) and off I go. A couple miles from my Mom and Dads, I’m still thinking about hash browns and stuff when something ain’t
right….motors pulling way too hard, slowing down, and then BANG!! The wheels locked up in the middle of the road. “What the ???” Says I. Then it
hit me, NO OIL!!! Oh frak What a dumb $#!T !! So, put it in neutral, Push it off the road and start hoofing it to Mom’s house.
After getting there and asking for a tow to her house, she isn’t happy, something about interrupting her pancakes and bacon, I think. But, it’s
Mom so she says ok. So we get the Baja to the house and I push it into Dad’s garage. After a big heaping pile of pancakes, I walk out to the car and
turn on the radio while trying to figure out what to do, looking around the inside of the car I see the Chiltons manual and start thumbing through it,
Hey…I didn’t know all these engine bolt torque settings were in here. An idea came to me…and 30 minutes later I had the engine out of the car
sitting on the floor.
While taking the engine apart I kept thinking how it looked like someone put it together out of a junk spare parts box. After getting it apart I
found the problem, the main bearings had welded themselves to the crank. (No, really?) And after checking the handy manual I found it was a 1600
engine. So, grab the crank, borrow car from Mom and off to the local pick-a-part junkyard I go. After searching a few minutes I find a 1600 that
someone has removed the cylinders from already out of the car. Breaking the case I remove the connecting rods and grab my prize, twenty dollars and my
old crank later and I’m on my way to the local Euro imports store.
“Howdy Mr. Parts guy.” Says I. “I need some rings, some rod bearings and some main bearing for a 1600 bug motor.” He looks at me funny and
asks “What are you doing?” “Well, my motor died this morning and I’m fixing it.” He looks at me even funnier, “How are you doing that?”
He queries, “Well, I just went out to the junkyard and got me a crank, now I’m getting some new rings and bearings, next I’m going home and put
it all back together.” I said with a smile. “That wont work.” He says. “You have to have the crank ground, you have to know the size of the
bearing, and I’m just sure the crank and block have been worked on so none of the sizes are stock.” “Yeah, yeah, just sell me the stuff and
don’t worry about it please?” Well, this degenerated into ten minutes of arguing about how what I was doing wouldn’t work and how he wasn’t
going to be responsible for me wasting my money. So I finally pointed out how it was my money to waste and just give me the stuff I want, “Oh and
give me a big tube of 3M yellow snot while your at it, thanks.”
By now it’s 11a.m. I get back to Mom’s and she’s got lunch already. (MMM!! Just why did I leave home? Oh, I remember…) Ok, now its noon and
I start cleaning all the parts to put stuff back together, Good God all this carbon on the heads and pistons….clamp the block halves into the vise,
get out a long flat file and file them down flat where it bolts together. Around 1:00 my Dad comes home from work, walks into the garage and asks what
I’m doing. After explaining what happened this morning he starts laughing at me and says I’m wasting my time because he taught me better than to
think what I was doing would work. So, after installing the rings, bearings and liberally coating everything inside the motor with oil I start putting
it all back together. Torque all the mains to spec, all the rods, some snot between the engine halves, torque the block bolts to spec, crank spins
nicely, install cylinders, more snot on the pushrod tubes, install heads, torque ‘em up, everything still spinning, no binding, hey, this might
work.
Ok, lets bolt the tin on, oops forgot the flywheel…tighten up the nut….wait…aaawww what the heck? The motor wont turn, it’s locked up tighter
than Dick’s hat band (and we all know how tight old Dick wore his hatband). Dang, what happened? Out comes the manual,
read…read…read……..hmmm, adjusting crank play….oh crap, SHIMS!! Forgot about that, ok, do it right this time and bolt on the flywheel
everything works fine. It’s now 6:00 and Mom comes out says dinners ready. (MMM!! Just why did I leave home? Oh, I remember…)
By now it’s 7:00, my dad comes out to help me cause he wants the pile of VW out of his garage, we get the engine back in, adjust the valves, hook
everything up, fill it up with oil, listen to Dad tell me how I’ve wasted my time today one more f#(%!^g time, pour a little gas in the carburetor,
hop in the car, pray a little and turn the key. It spins over a couple of times, coughs and fires off in a huge cloud of smoke!! (hey, I half didn’t
believe it myself but I wasn’t going to let anyone else know) I got out of the car and my Dad just shook his head and walked off laughing that it
wouldn’t last. I let the engine warm up awhile, keeping an eye on the oil pressure in case it lost it. As I adjusted the carburetor and realized it
wasn’t smoking anymore and it was also running on four proud cylinders (no smoke and all four cylinders??? Heck, I didn’t know what to do with
myself.)
Oh well, Clean up the mess, wipe down Dad’s wrenches, thank Mom for the food and off I go with a great running Baja for less than 75.00 in the
motor. I drove the car for about another year before I sold it to a friend that drove several more years till the body finally rusted beyond being
easily repaired.
Why did I bring all this up now you may ask? Well, my friends son bought a Baja several months back without a motor, so we pulled the old Baja out of
the weeds, pulled the plugs, poured in some Marvel Mystery Oil, waited a couple of days, mounted the motor in the new Baja, After new points, plugs,
wires, cap and rotor we adjusted the valves set the timing and it fired right up (with a cloud of smoke of course, but that didn’t last long). And
it’s been driven everyday since. Sometime I do think these things are almost immortal.
Chris.... kombi pilot, oval dreamer... finisher #26971 2005 city to surf
Cam
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posted on January 30th, 2004 at 03:06 PM
Awww man, you're legend. That just warmed my heart. I've gone all fuzzy. I think I'll hug my puppy :kiss
fatboy
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posted on January 30th, 2004 at 03:56 PM
Cool story Chris !
Maybe you should ask him if he want to go to Valla with you :P
" Captain Picard, why are there no Indians on the Enterprise ? Don't you need IT Support ? "
baybuscamperkid
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posted on January 30th, 2004 at 04:12 PM
very cool. maybe i should get u to look at my spare engine; 2l kombi donk, new leads, new plugs, fresh oil and a jump from a 16v 4x4 battery and it
didnt even give a hint of starting.
Reimagined/Recycled/Upcycled Cool
amazer
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posted on January 30th, 2004 at 04:18 PM
ha ha ha very funny yeah big belly laughs.
I will be there at valla dont you worry about that. will take 3 spare engines, just in case.
Chris.... kombi pilot, oval dreamer... finisher #26971 2005 city to surf
oval TOFU
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posted on January 30th, 2004 at 04:30 PM
Do you wanna spin some of your magic on my 36hp too?!
:kiss
...and Robert's ya father's brother...
Robo
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posted on January 30th, 2004 at 05:01 PM
Thats gotta be the longest post on this site that has managed to keep my attention. What a great story! loved every minute of it!:thumb:thumb:thumb
Rob....
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posted on January 31st, 2004 at 08:40 PM
That's pretty cool! I'd believe that as i'm getting the feeling my 1500 motor is like that, it just keeps going and going and ...(just
like engergizer!) cept for the shot carb. This guy sounds like my kind of mechanic (cept for the bad matinence) who never takes no for an answer and
beleives that anything is possible and that they can do it. good on him!:thumb
70AutoStik
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posted on February 1st, 2004 at 12:45 AM
Bah! I know of a "VeeDub" place in Perth that could kill any dub!
Mind you, I know of a type 4 that drove 400km+ on three cylinders (the fourth had a broken rod, due to the piston having mated with an exhaust valve
head and the cylinder.) and a 1600 beach buggy that could spin 8" tyres with only one type 3 carb working... and a '69 Kombi (stock, and
full of "hippies" that drove out of an officially closed track
that had 4WDs stranded...
helterskelter400
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posted on February 1st, 2004 at 01:53 AM
choice 70auto. choice...
if only they had digtl cameras bak then... & if only we all wernt too pisssed & stoned to remember to take piks on such epic episodes...
:jesus
:P
that drove out of an officially closed track
that had 4WDs stranded...
