| [ Total Views: 502 | Total Replies: 7 | Thread Id: 20461 ] |
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 VolksFolks
A.k.a.: Pandy
Son of Jim - Creator of Good
Posts: 2869
Threads: 350
Registered: December 29th, 2003
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Location: Tasmainac, Launceston, 7212
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| posted on March 16th, 2004 at 01:11 PM |
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New Swearing Laws
SWEARING AT WORK
Dear Employees:
It has been brought to management's attention that
some individuals
throughout the company have been using foul language
during the course of
normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to
complaints received from
some employees who may be easily offended, this type
of language will be no
longer been tolerated. We do however, realize the
critical importance of
being able to accurately express your feelings when
communicating with
co-workers.
Therefore, a list of "TRY SAYING" new phrases has
been provided so that
proper exchange of ideas! and information can
continue in an effective
manner.
1) TRY SAYING:
I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF:
You don't know what the f___ you're doing.
2) TRY SAYING:
She's an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF:
She's a ball-busting bitch.
3) TRY SAYING:
Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF:
And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?
4) TRY SAYING:
I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF:
No f______ way.
5) TRY SAYING:
Really?
INSTEAD OF:
You've got to be sh--ing me!
6) TRY SAYING:
Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF:
Tell someone who gives a s--t.
7) TRY SAYING:
I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF:
It's not my f______ problem.
8) TRY SAYING:
That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF:
What the f___?
9) TRY SAYING:
I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF:
This s--t won't work.
10) TRY SAYING:
I'll! try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF:
Why the hell didn't you tell me sooner?
11) TRY SAYING:
He's not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF:
He's got his head up his a__.
12) TRY SAYING:
Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF:
Eat s--t and die.
13) TRY SAYING:
So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF:
Kiss my a__.
14) TRY SAYING:
I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF:
F___ it, I'm on salary.
15) TRY SAYING:
I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF:
Shove it up your a__.
16) TRY SAYING:
I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF:
This job sucks.
17) TRY SAYING:
You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF:
Who the hell died and made you boss?
18 ) TRY SAYING:
He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF:
He's a prick.
Thank You,
Human Resources
They laugh because You are different, You laugh because They are all the same.
check out http://www.lowlight.com.au for low lights only.. |
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kustomkool
A.k.a.: Damian Von
Custom Title Time!
BEING KOOL AINT CHEAP
Posts: 1611
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| posted on March 16th, 2004 at 01:15 PM |
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Im loving that .
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Babybug
Seriously Crusin Dubber
Posts: 103
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Location: Tweed Heads
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| posted on March 16th, 2004 at 01:43 PM |
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that's funny 
I will have to teach my husband to use (no 2) when I tell him FIX MY CAR!!!!
Jodie
Love your Bug
Member of DMLRK.....Die Mittler Lebuns Resto Komeradschaft
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Spook
Custom Title Time!
Driving the 64 wheeler
Posts: 1168
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Location: Central Coast
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| posted on March 16th, 2004 at 01:48 PM |
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Beingwell known for my somewhat colourful vocabulary, I had a young woman at work pull me aside to inform me that she found my language offensive.
I told her she was lucky, most people find my very presence offensive.
As far as I know she is still trying to figure it out........
Well my friends are gone & my hair is grey, I ache in the places where I used to play.
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KruizinKombi
A.k.a.: Col
Bishop of Volkswagenism
Seriously Obsessed Cyber Dubber
Posts: 3493
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| posted on March 16th, 2004 at 02:05 PM |
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Hahaha, its all good!! :thumb
Kruizin Kol
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ikube
Wolfsburg Wizard
Posts: 580
Threads: 106
Registered: February 8th, 2004
Member Is Offline
Location: Melbourne
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Mood: C h i l l
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| posted on March 16th, 2004 at 06:14 PM |
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Now thats funny!
I realize in most cases polite way of saying is shorter than adding foul language in..
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mscabrio
Veteran Volks Folk
Cabriolet Queen
Posts: 2308
Threads: 142
Registered: January 20th, 2004
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Location: Sunny Victoria
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Mood: Swimming in water. Floating on air.
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| posted on March 24th, 2004 at 11:30 AM |
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When I started my current job I was using the first examples. I was polite and patient ..... now I use the second lot of examples ! ...... |
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vw_addict
Seriously Crusin Dubber
Posts: 184
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Registered: August 18th, 2003
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Location: NSW
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| posted on March 25th, 2004 at 08:40 AM |
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Im not sure this can be implemented at my work!
HAHAHA! |
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LittleMissHerbina
Seriously Crusin Dubber
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| posted on March 25th, 2004 at 11:04 AM |
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ha ha ha ha
my work is a lost cause.
I printed it out anyway though!!
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blutopless2
Veteran Volks Folk
DAMSLO
Posts: 2457
Threads: 187
Registered: January 8th, 2004
Member Is Offline
Location: melbourne
Theme: UltimaBB Pro Blue
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| posted on March 25th, 2004 at 11:47 AM |
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| Quote: | Originally
posted by mscabrio
When I started my current job I was using the first examples. I was polite and patient ..... now I use the second lot of examples ! ......
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hehehehe and not just at work :P
see.... air and water do mix 
1974 1300
1997 MK3 Golf GL
2003 NB Cabrio
2012 Golf VI GTI
2014 Audi A4 Quattro |
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