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posted on April 8th, 2004 at 09:55 AM
Most stupid or embarrasing things!
Lil-Dub reckon's she's the biggest Moron of them all (see Tech Talk)
I reckon we can do better!
vwombat
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posted on April 8th, 2004 at 10:08 AM
Original thread...
Lil Dub
i am possibly the biggest moron that ever lived. (be warned - long winded story)
after my last post in this section you'd think i was some kind of freaking cool car person.
but no.
if you need to, go back and read my post --- don't i sound like a cocky piece of shit?????? maybe i have just got what i deserved.
such a loser!
so after feeling so good for "fixing" my door...going to sleep at night dreaming of myself and engines and radness....
went to uni today. took me an hour to find a park.
in the end i decided i just better pay for hourly parking cause i was late for my lecture and really needed to pee.
grumbled my way throuigh it all -- got my ticket -- parked--- grumble grumble oh woe is me having to spend a dollar on parking.
went to wind up my window.
........
......
....
SMASH.
i'm the biggest dickhead that ever lived.
mustnt have put the window rail thingo back on properly.
damn stupid.
needless to say i stuck a sign to my steering wheel "please dont steal i'm a poor student" and went to the uni bar and got pissed.
such is life
upside of the "day from hell" though -- too pissed to sit through my classes for the rest of the afternoon (but somehow not too pissed to be able to
drive myself home....funny that...)
best par t of the day tho --- this morning, in my rush to leave the house -- i reversed out of my driveway onto the uphill street. nearly stalled so
must have dropped the clutch and acelrated unconsiously ---- result --- massive burnout that impressed the workmen across the street! wahoo!
that was good form.
BiX
Bloody good to hear abou the burn out, not so much the window though but such i life. Is it all being fixed now? did u break the glass or just
wouldn't go up?
try this one on, going to uni and the fuel was a bit low, so thought she will be rite to get there tehn to a servo (i was running late for a
presentation worth 60%!!!) got to the top of the hill (GU) and turned onto roundabout, the acr started to fart and loose power, I had run out of fuel
so quickly think coasted into the parking meters near buy adn thought leave the car there, go to lecture an then go get some fuel. so went to the
parking meter and worked out I had rolled to far foward and was in the no standing zone infront of the meter bays, thought no problem just dive in and
roll the car back, but went for the keys, adn in my rush had left them in the ignition, so thought no problem leave car where it is, in tow away zone,
with the keys stuck in the ignition and out ot petrol, but thinking about getting a mate to run me home later and get spare set, but the spare set was
on teh floor of the passenger side, as I had been using the keys to fix the door lock on the passenger side.
so ended up being
-car in tow away zone!
-car had no petrol!!
-both sets of keys stuck in the locked car!!!
and then went to lecture and went and got some fuel and some tools from home and broke into the car, refueled it and went home. I did have all my
mates laugh at me, and the resoning was if they had to break into it to move it, so therefore that was one good thing and if somebody else broke into
to it thinnking tehy could drive it away with the keys in it, they woudn't ahve any fuel. so the car was safe!
Sorry thorun I hijacked this post
$2.63 homebrand baja
thorun, I wake up each morning wondering wat dumb thing I'll do that day, more often than not fate has it already planned for me!
I have done that many stoopid things car wise I could go on for days... My crowning moment was when I had completed a baja,, took over a corner of the
company factory,, the neighbouring biz's saw this little white bug dropped off one day and were curious once the grinding, banging, sanding and
swearing strarted...."The chick next door is building a CAR".... I basically stripped and built a baja by myself (only help required on really heavy
bits)... Eight weeks later....test drive time......had audience,, everyone from neighbouring factories came out to cheer me on....(great,,, how
embarrassing)... went hooning up street,, to cheers, so even more people up road came out to look...... yeeehhaaa,, went up round loop,, headed
back,,, wondered wtf the wobble was,,, the holy s**t... the left front wheel came off and went bouncing off down road towards a big glass window
(thankfully one of the guys next door bolted off after it, catching it b4 it did any damage! caus I was too busy steering the car on the drum,, sparks
flewwww!).....shocked silence turned to laughter as all realised everything was fine,,,, I put wheel back on and drove back into factory... realising
I had forgotten to tighten up the nuts!!!!! I was handed a beer ..... and i sat down to lick my wounds......
Now thats embarrasing...........
girls can build em too u know!lol
Ege Works
Everybody does stupid things while working on vehicles, don't take it too hard. At least it won't be too expensive to fix. I once mistakenly
overfilled the oil on my moty and rode around on it for a couple of weeks. Needless to say lots of dollars and a very red face. Live and learn, it's
the only way to go!
GL1972
In 1981 I lost a rear 31" tall rear wheel the same way on my Baja. A mate and I were running around the car fitting wheels after a brake reline. I
thought he and he thought I tightened the nuts.
Ripped off the rear fibreglass custom (airbrushed) guard and wrecked it. The wheel destroyed a very elaborate letter box down the road.
I know your embarrasment.
Brendan
[Edited on 8-4-2004 by vwombat]
vwombat
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posted on April 8th, 2004 at 12:20 PM
I've got a really good true sex story which I can keep clean enough for this wonderful family forum. If there are enough good responses, I'll lay it
on the line. BTW the idiot was me!!!
:rudolf
vwombat
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posted on April 8th, 2004 at 02:18 PM
I'm easy!
That wasn't much of a response man, but whatever!
Here we go!
O.K. this is from a few years ago. Absolutely NO dub angle can be found here guys, and it's a bit rude, so please turn away if your likely to be
offended (no photos THANK GOD!) This is absolutely true and happened to me.
I'd just broken up with my girlfriend, when this Nympho crossed my path. I wasn't terribly interested in her (she was attractive, but annoying).
After being hit on quite hard, I submitted. Mr. Dick had something to say about a naked woman throwing herself at me. I couldn't argue!
So anyway, she keeps coming over to my place and f*^cking me stupid. I didn't complain 'cause it felt good, and I'm, well, a Guy!
One night we are at HER place. A big old Queenslander with a long hallway and lots of bedrooms. It was a share house filled with friends of mine. She
decides she wants to give bondage a go, and I'm like "whatever!" She proceeds to tie my hands and feet to the bed frame, and climbs on. All is
going well. Felt good again. Suddenly, there is a HUGE screeching sound. A local cat has entered the house and is proceeding to take apart the pet
house cat in the living room. Girl "X" jumps up, wraps a dressing gown on, and runs out to the living room, LEAVING THE DOOR WIDE OPEN! Everyone
else in the house follows suit, but on the way by, they take a glance into her bedroom where I lie, tied to the bed imitating a flagpole. Some of my
best friends were there, some of them Girls. I never lived it down, but it was good advertising, and I got some more action through this fabulous
marketing stunt.
Now I am a married, and a reformed sexaholic naughtyperson. At parties tho' I have seldom heard anyone with a story so pathetic, therefore, I wear it
with pride.
Pull out your big guns people! Embarrassment should be shared by all! War stories please!
:beer
[Edited on 8-4-2004 by vwombat]
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posted on April 8th, 2004 at 04:02 PM
Can't beat that. Shit I live a boring life
"Tell him 'We've already got one'"
lil dub
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posted on April 8th, 2004 at 06:45 PM
LMFAO
ahhh. wombat. i like this thread! and thanks for offering up the challenge to find the most moronic dubber here on the forum........i reckon i am in
with a chance (may never ever never win Best Modified Type 3 but i stand a good chance of winning Best Totally Stupid Person of Embaressment award)
ahhh...the list is endless......perhaps the last 26 years of my life........ this is the kind of topic that needs several beers and a PM hour......
i could tantalise with you a few snapshots tho ---
how about the time i got diarrhoea reaaly really really badly on my first part-time job as a checkout check...and had to run from my cashiers post
down through the cold food aisle...out the back..past the butcher section...up two flights of stairs to the toilet.....needless to say there was a
trail of er, trail of stuff...had to throw out my underwear into the sanitary disposal bin...and was left with a sense of shame that only a 15 year
old school girl could ever relate to.....
or the time i made new friends while travelling...who were a really lovely couple who offered to let me stay at their house on their brand new
bed-sofa, took me out to a fancy dinner (was in poor starving tourist mode as opposed to current poor starving student mode), took me out dancing, got
me really really drunk on free double vodkas......then i went back to their place....woke up at 4am after a coughing attack which left me spewing in
my sleeping bag...all over the new sofa...down the hall.....my travelling companion put me next to the toilet and went out to get clean clothes from
our 4wd as i had spewed all over myself.....when she came back...i was naked...in the bathtub...covered in spew...trying to wash my sleeping bag. It
was so bad. Our hosts had the good grace to not talk about it the next day.....but we did spend a week travelling with a plastic bag full of "spewed
on items of clothing" before we were game enough to make friends with anyone who had a washing machine....
or the time i decided to make an international call to my best friend overseas while i was very drunk....in a toilet cubicle...seemed to have
forgetten it was 2am her time....and also seemed to have forgotten that i needed to pee...so i was takling away...drunkenly...got
laughing.....realised too late that the reason i was in a tiolet cubicle was that i needed to pee.....so i pissed my pants...in a night club...whist
on an international phone call....
what else what else????
gawd..the list is endless...
but so far seems to only involving pooing, peeing and spewing.......how unladylike of me....
erm...............what about the time i was sharing a house with a guy i was hainvg an affair with....invited my friend over for a coffee....we ended
up discussing the whole bad situation i was in...sleeping with a guy who was engaged to someone else....got into the nitty gritty of it all.....and
then his bedroom door opened ---- and his girlfriend walked out!!!! oh dear. it seems she had come over to use his computer. deathly silence
ensued......much badness
(and thats as close to any kind of love-sex embaressiong stories you'll get out of me without alcohol)
or the time i decided to sell my passat so i could buy a UTE to better transport horse gear in.....for some bizarre reason i chose to take my best
friend along...who is awesome and fantastic but possibly the girliest girl that ever lived (why did i take her??? i just cant think of any possible
reason) so we spent a day going to car yards...being leared at....having all sorts of shit go wrong...got to the stage where i was getting really
annoyed at the attitude of the salesment towards 2 girls trying to buy a ute....so i went into hardcore mode....where i was all car talking and
swearing and cigarette smoking....very ugly...the guy decided we were lesbians.....(i just happened to have short hair at the time, seja was wearing a
skirt....type butch and glam stereo type) so i thought i was all cool for buying a ute...and the guy was like "you wont be able to drive it"
attitude.....bullshit i thought.....all car-cockiness (as i tend to get occasionally) got in the stupid ute.....and STALLED IT. so ashamed. so very
ashamed. finally got it go again...only to bunny-hop my way out of the car-yard to applause from the salesmen. it sucked so badly.
so there you go.
I AM THE BIGGEST MORON THAT EVER LIVED....................
[Edited on 8-4-2004 by lil dub]
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posted on April 8th, 2004 at 07:08 PM
i have a similar naughty story to yours vwombat.....
suitably cleaned up for the forum
i went to a birthday party with some mates, got totally plastered and me and a mate were trying our best to get a bit of an orgie going with some real
cute girls that were there.....
needless to say our drunken suggestions didn't yield the responces we had hoped. except for one girl who decided to come back to my mates house with
us for a few more drinks.
anyhoo, by now we're all really really pissed!!!! one thing lead to another and we ended up havin a threesome with this girl (that's the cleanest
way i can say it)....
at this point i should mention that my friend was renting a room in this woman's house, she was someone we knew from the pub, he'd been living there
a few months i guess....
so, halfway through our, ahem, playing..... my mates landlady comes home from the party (yes that's right, she was at the same party we had been
at)....
my mate hid behind the door, totally starkers, the girl found a random item of clothing and covered the essentials.....and now for the stupid bit.....
i grabbed a cushion, and due to a combination of drunkenness and embarrassment i covered my face!!!
to this day my mate's landlady thinks it was just me and this girl havin' a go in her front room.... we managed to blagg that my mate had been at
the 24 hour petrol station getting food.
in full, it is a longer story than this, but i have sanitised it as best i can.
kai
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posted on April 8th, 2004 at 09:02 PM
Wow! That's a lot of bodily fluids lil dub! You're never coming for a ride in my bay. You'd leave digestive juices lying around that'd eat a hole
right through the undercarriage.
Good work with the threesome!
Another one! Relationships again!
While I was at Uni, I was a real Bastard. You know, I tell the Girls that "I'm not ready for a relationship" thing, and they naturally all think
"I'm the one that will convert him".
At one stage, I had 3 girlfriends running at the same time, all of which didn't know anything about each other. I spent so much in petrol, that I was
constantly poor, and my penis almost fell off from overwork.
Anyway, one Girlfriend wanted to go to Livid, but didn't have enough cash. Another did too, but had the cash. The third wasn't really into going at
all. I wanted to go to Livid, so I scraped the money together and went. There we were, sitting on the grass exchanging spittle to the sounds of
Mudhoney, when all of a sudden, there was an almighty roar of displeasure. My other girlfriend had been lent the money for a ticket by a friend at the
last minute, and had caught me red handed. I didn't expect her to go off like she did (she was usually pretty quiet), but for that one brief moment,
a seminal grunge band (with amplification) was drowned out by one little girl (without amplification). You know those cartoons where someone shrinks
from embarrassment? That physically happened to me.
I could have saved my 3rd relationship, but I felt too guilty to press on and became a "one relationship at a time" kinda guy.
Scared the shit out of me!
Haven't ever had an actual 3 way. Wont be either any more now that I've settled. Hats off (tho' I think I'd prefer a 3 way with 2 females anyway)!
Kai.A.
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posted on April 8th, 2004 at 09:17 PM
Quote:
Originally
posted by vwombat
Haven't ever had an actual 3 way. Wont be either any more now that I've settled. Hats off (tho' I think I'd prefer a 3 way with 2 females anyway)!
yeh, i woulda preferred that too, but i was really pissed.... and you gotta try everything once, given the opportunity.....right?
kai
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posted on April 8th, 2004 at 09:25 PM
Once tried drinking 2 bottles of sombrero tequila in 2 hours. Almost died of alcohol poisoning. Comatose for 2 days. I was 15 at the time. Non drinker
since!
I think that mentioning alcohol may open a can of worms.
[Edited on 8-4-2004 by vwombat]
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posted on April 8th, 2004 at 09:28 PM
yeh, i can think of two occasions that i'm sure i shoulda been in hospital having my stomach pumped..... and there's probably more that i can't
remember.......
i don't drink like i used to, i still enjoy a drink, but i don't get silly like i did(famous last words )
kai
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posted on April 8th, 2004 at 09:38 PM
Quote:
Originally
posted by vwombat
There we were, sitting on the grass exchanging spittle to the sounds of Mudhoney, when all of a sudden, there was an almighty roar of displeasure. My
other girlfriend had been lent the money for a ticket by a friend at the last minute, and had caught me red handed. I didn't expect her to go off
like she did (she was usually pretty quiet), but for that one brief moment, a seminal grunge band (with amplification) was drowned out by one little
girl (without amplification). You know those cartoons where someone shrinks from embarrassment? That physically happened to me.
Haven't ever had an actual 3 way. Wont be either any more now that I've settled. Hats off (tho' I think I'd prefer a 3 way with 2 females anyway)!
"touch me I'm sick".................
wtf.. how did it go from a smashed window to outpourings of depravity?? This aint vee dubs......
maybe u guys should arrange a special 'chat session' .....
...... dunno if i wanna go meeting up with any forum peeps now! ........ eeeewwwwww yukkieee!:alien
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posted on April 8th, 2004 at 09:41 PM
ooh,, and i certainly aint posting my piccie up in here,,, worse than chicken fondlers anon forum.............
Kai.A.
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posted on April 8th, 2004 at 09:45 PM
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ........
well, the way i see it, surely i can't be held responsible for my drunken mispent youth.......
kai
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posted on April 8th, 2004 at 09:50 PM
lmao - this thread is great
such a large part of me wants to continue posting...because i am shameless and have done many stupid things in my life that dont seem so pointless
once i know someone has had a giggle over it....
but, the small rational sane part of me knows that this is a vw forum....and my stupid sense of humor got enough of a kick out of last weeks
embaressing chatroom session...
but yeah wombat...most of my stupidity involves bodily fluids.....
and i know it is a low-IQ kinda humour but i love fart jokes, poo jokes..all of it...so when i was posted the above diarherra story i was totally
pissing myself laughing...so much so that my flatmate came in to check i was ok....thats sad huh? laughing myself stupid over my own explosive
diarrohea...... but really pissing my pants? come on.....how many ppl have pissed themselves in a public place over the age of 13?????
:puke
but there are consequences for posting my most intimate embaressing moments................so we'll save it all for valla or something....maybe add
alcohol and we can create new embaressing vw orientated stories...i dunno...the potential is endless
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posted on April 8th, 2004 at 09:59 PM
ssssshhhh,, thorun,, don't fall into the trap.... vwombat can post that stuff caus he already has partner..... sheesh, that sorta stuff you save for
when you trap one,,,,AFTER you trap one,,,,no one will shout u beers, caus they will be too afraid ur gonna vomit on them......
as for the livid thing VWombat.. those were the pre metalic insert on ticket livid days... why didn't u just do wat we all did... one ticket spilt 6
ways.. colour photocopier,, sizzler steak knife was perfect for perforation marks....(sorry u yunguns,, yes we were the ones who spoilt it all for
you... )
you could have had that threesome u always wanted....... guess you didn't
have time to think that one thru eh.. too worried about ur privates falling off!!!!!... I personally was off seeing the bands, guzzling beer... ahhh
livid,, dems were the days........
vwombat
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posted on April 9th, 2004 at 08:37 AM
Gotcha! Yeah, it's not Veedub, but it lets you into the psyche of these habitual mechanical freaks.
Good tip about the "waiting till you hook a partner". I think tho' that lil dub is intelligent enough not to want to get involved with another
dubber, therefore, "es ist scheiss egal!"
About the threesome. I only wanted it, because it was culturally thrust upon me to want it. Much like bulemia for 13 year olds. It didn't actually
bother me, because I had enough fun as it was. When I was in Germany though, I found out that pretty much everyone had managed to organise a 3 way at
one stage or another. Felt like a Mormon at the titty twister.
Oh well! I just thought I'd put it all out there, so that people can get used to my stupidity before having a conversation at the Klub meet on the
2nd.
I will probably behave though! The Wife, Kids and inlaws will be there (out from Germany for 6 weeks!).
See you there. If I think of anything else, I'll let you know!
guess you didn't
have time to think that one thru eh.. too worried about ur privates falling off!!!!!... I personally was off seeing the bands, guzzling beer... ahhh
livid,, dems were the days........