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 Bizarre
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 posted on January 31st, 2003 at 11:02 AM |
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US Law Suits
One of those stupid emails that are entertaining to read - from my brother who is a soliciter (this is going around his traps)
It's time, once again, to consider the candidates for the annual Stella Awards. The "Stella's" are named after 81-year-old Stella
Liebeck who spilled coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonald's because there was no warning on the cup advising that the contents may be
hot. That case inspired the Stella Awards for the most frivolous successful lawsuits in the United States. The following are this year's
candidates:
1. Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $780,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running
inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving little toddler was
Kathleen Robertson's son.
2. A 19-year-old, Carl Truman of Los Angeles, won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbour ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman
apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbour's hub caps.
3. Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage
door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage
locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation, and Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case
of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The
jury agreed to the tune of $500,000.
4. Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door
neighbour's beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might
have been just a little provoked at the time by Mr. Williams who was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.
5. A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her
coccyx. The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.
6. Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of a night club in a neighbouring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the
floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying
the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.
7. This year's favourite could easily be Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma
City, Oklahoma. Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On his first trip home, having driven onto the freeway, he set the
cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the drivers seat to go into the back and make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly, the R.V. left the
freeway, crashed and overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him in the owner's manual that he couldn't actually do this.
The jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new motor home. The company
actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit, just in case there were any other complete morons buying their recreation vehicles.
Futue te ipsum!!!
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 geodon
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| posted on January 31st, 2003 at 11:43 AM |
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This brings to mind Danny Devito's line from the movie "War of the Roses".
Q: What do you call a group of lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A: A good start.
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Bizarre
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| posted on January 31st, 2003 at 11:47 AM |
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heh heh heh
i just passed that on - heh heh heh :thumb
Futue te ipsum!!!
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Tazzielittle
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| posted on January 31st, 2003 at 11:52 AM |
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Its like, What do you call childsupport?
The screwing ya get from the screwin ya had........ |
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JETTABOY
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| posted on January 31st, 2003 at 11:53 AM |
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fingers crossed!
Seems Australia is headed in the same direction these days!.....People not taking responsibility for there own stupidity!:sandrine
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 vw54
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| posted on January 31st, 2003 at 11:55 AM |
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yeah got that one on Mundie... theres got to be some idiots in the world....
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Spook
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| posted on January 31st, 2003 at 04:28 PM |
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Doesn't really suprise me.
What you need to consider is every warning on every product, no matter how inane that warning may seem, is there because some d!ckhead tried it.
I'd heard the dog food & pepsi one........
Well my friends are gone & my hair is grey, I ache in the places where I used to play.
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vanderaj
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| posted on January 31st, 2003 at 07:12 PM |
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Shame they're fake
Funny to read, but completely urban myths. 
http://www.abc.net.au/mediawatch/transcripts/100602_s3.htm
http://www.overlawyered.com/archives/01/aug3.html#0827d
And best researched:
http://www.snopes.com/legal/lawsuits.htm
Good chortle though. Shame it doesn't prove anything.
Andrew
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kustomkool
A.k.a.: Damian Von
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| posted on January 31st, 2003 at 07:15 PM |
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lets not forget the lawsuits going on in America with Volkswagen America.Lawyers are just stupid rich coke heads.
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