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 jenz58
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| posted on July 4th, 2007 at 11:14 PM |
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Goodness did I write so much!!:blush
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 helbus
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| posted on July 5th, 2007 at 12:18 AM |
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He he. You have so much to write Jen, it is good. I have to meet Eddie, he sounds like a really nice guy. Then again, he must be, you are a really
nice person too.
I have been told by so many people that we are lucky in some ways to have a boy, because a good kick up the bum with a size 12 boot will set them
straight. But Daddy can't do that to daddy's little girl, so they have a head start on being a mischief maker.
I noticed a lot of typo's in your long post. Have you been drinking?
It is 12:20am and I have just finished putting up cornice and painting the back hallway ceiling. I am really gonna get this renovation finished soon.
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vw54
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| posted on July 5th, 2007 at 07:04 AM |
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hehehehe
Jen U did write a bit LOL
yes i think the boys are better to bring up although my eldest ( 23 ) is the emotional one
I have friends with girls that age and your will have troubles Rob
Jen what happened to the Shed pics????
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| posted on July 5th, 2007 at 08:55 AM |
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Well
Worst senario has happened. She has arranged to move out. The problems have been going on for a couple of years now. I am an old fashioned parent
with old fashioned views.
The first signs of something wrong were about 18 months ago. She said she was staying at a friends house one who Jodie and I know the parents. This
was a common thing and Jodie and I were quite happy for her to stay there, her friends are always welcome to stay at our house anytime. the other
parents have the same views as us. On this occasion Jodie had a gut feeling and rang the other parent around 10 pm. Guess what, the other child said
to them she was staying at our house. Their older son was at a year 12 end of year party and it turns out so were they. The other parent went to pick
them up, my daughter was paraletic, I had to carry her up the stairs she could not walk. I stayed with her for hours I was afraid she would choke on
her spew or something.
After that episode we made rules.
1) If she wanted to stay over someones house. We wanted to talk to the other parents first, firstly to make sure they are telling the truth, and
secondly to make sure the other parents are of good character.
2) If she goes out with friends on a friday or sat night. we pick her up at 12.30 am.
In my mind two very simple rules and not unreasonable. In her mind embarresing and unreasonable.
The next problem we had with her was her schooling. Her grades were very bad. I know she would mostly only ever be an average student, but I
feel her grades were mostly low because of lack of effort on her part. Too much time spent on messenger, the phone or at friends house's. At first I
tried to limit her over use of these things, but being the only male in the family was told " it's normal for kids of today" and was voted down! I
tried to talk to her and explain why this is not good and how it would affect her future. I told her if she had worries to talk to me and I would help
her. I told her I would make an appointment to speak to the school guidance/careers advisor and we could go from there. I got a shock a couple of days
later after getting home from work, Jodie tells me she got a call from the head teacher and asked to come down. The end result was that Hayley left
school. I was very upset about this because it was done without me knowing. Jodie knowing how I felt about this should have said to the teacher can we
shedule this for another time so my husband can be present. I was just shut out, and the descision was made without any input from me. I realise that
she was struggling but life is like that, and if you let people just give up without trying it starts a pattern, "if I have trouble with something
just bail out its OK" I offered to get tutoring to help with her understanding, but her mind was made up and that was that.
I spoke to Hayley about it again and she insisted that this is what she wanted, so I asked her if she would consider working at any job until she
could get an aprenticeship, and she happily agreed to this, I was a little apprehensive, but relieved at the same time, both of us had a win of some
sort.
She got a job working at Coles. mostly she has to get her own way there she starts at 9am so its not a big problem, she just gets a bus. We pick
her up at night. I thought things were going along OK. Little did I know what problems lay ahead. Because she has a fulltime job. she has a reasonable
amount of money in her pocket and has become financialy independant to somesorts. I told her I would not expect board at this stage provided she
started a christmas bank account and put the money in there instead. I said to her that this could go towards her first car. We relaxed the need for
her to do chores around the house and basicly left it up to her to pitch in if she wanted. Your first job always seems like you are working like a
slave so we thought we should give her a bit of slack. The job was a good idea, but his and the new money, seemed to make her think that she had made
the jump from child to adult overnight, and what ever she wants to do we have no say in the matter. We droped her at a youth group on friday night and
told her to give us a call when it was over and we would pick her and her friend up. We got a call about 11.30 asking if she could stay out till 2am
she was having a great time and did not want to come home yet. Jodie said 12.30 and thats fair enough. Jodie said she could hear boys in the
background and they sounded drunk. One of the other girls there grabbed the phone and said to Jodie she should let her stay longer, Jodie said she
sounded a bit under the weather as well and still insisted we pick her up at 12.30. well the phone went dead they just hung up. We got a call about
1am the car they were in had run out of petrol and they were waiting for a friend to bring them some petrol back. Jodie asked Hayley where they were
and we would come get her there, no one seemed to know where they actualy were. Jodie said to look for a street sign, they were in a suburban area and
a sign should be realtively close by, no street signs either, she hung up again. We got another call about 2am and it was a so called parent saying
Hayley could stay there for the night, Jodie said no we want to come get her. We finaly got an address and Jodie went to get her, although the address
was wrong, Jodie chanced it and found her.
I let it settle for a week, and tried to talk to her about it but she just insisted that she should be able to do these things and that we were
the unreasonable one's. I got a bit cranky about it and said I think we need to have an independant umpire IE a youth councilor, and see what they
had to say about it all. She flatly refused at first, but relented a day later. all good.
We wnt to pick her up from work on wed night, but we were late. When we droped her off in the morning she was 15 minutes early unknown to us they
asked her to start straight away, this resulted in her finishing 15 minutes early.
so we were 20 minutes late but were actally on time. Well the complaining started, she had to wait all that time and was not happy about it. she got
in the back of the car (two door car) my 9 year old was next to her. Jodie needed some shopping so she ducked into the shop to get it leaving the
drivers door open I asked hayley to reach over and close it she refused saying she could not reach it. My 9 year old reached over her and tried to
close it brushing hayley while she did it. well she started on the little on for touching her. I kept my cool and got out and closed it myself. Jodie
came back and we were on our way home Hayley kept picking on Mel and Jodie told her to grow up. the abuse started. This time I just lost it. I said
some things I am not proud of and I was very agitated, I reached over and grabbed her by the shirt and gave her a good shake, I never hit her though.
Jodie actually kicked me out of the car and drove off to let me cool off.
Well that was the end of it. She has a friend that has a huge house with a self contained unti beneath and she is moving in there sharing with
someone else and there is nothing I can do about it. She is 16 and working now so she can do what she wants if she wants to go out drinking all night
thats OK she is and adult now. Im devestated. If she was 18 I could sort of live with it, but at 16 im terrified of whats going to happen to her. she
has a mouth on her and boys these days are quite nasty cause they can get away with it. With her attitude it's only a matter of time till something
goes wrong.
 ...Rob
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zac_smits
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| posted on July 5th, 2007 at 10:27 AM |
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jesus rob.
you poor guy.
dad always gave me a good clip around the ear to keep me in line. and that did the job. no swearing, no staying up late unless it was the weekend, no
soft-drinks (unless parties or special occasions).
i went to live overseas when i finished year 12, then came back and moved into an apartment in melbourne for uni. i still depend on my parents though,
and i'm still very glad that they support me.
at 16 though, emotions tend to win over more than logic, or reasoning, just pray that nothing bad happens, and that she finds her way back to you
safely
Zac
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penguin
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| posted on July 5th, 2007 at 06:10 PM |
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Rob,
can't say anything that will make it better, sorry. As you'd remember, sometimes we just have to find things out for ourselves and occassionally
people don't care what they do to get where they want to. Afterwards, they usually realise what the hell they have done but not always. Try to relax
(I know it is impossible) and hope that some of the things you and Jodie have taught her come up in her mind and help her realise what she has done
and is doing.
'Ah, whatever................'
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helbus
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| posted on July 5th, 2007 at 06:15 PM |
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Hmmm I see where having a boy has a different angle.
I did not cross the line with my dad, and did not get booted up the bum. I knew there was a line, and I made the decision not to find out what would
happen. Maybe it was all bluff? Who knows. I guess we will find out when the little fella gets older.
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Robo
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| posted on July 6th, 2007 at 10:55 PM |
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Well
Sorta getting used to livin with it now, it was quite a shock at first and hard to live with but what can I do, absolutely zilch. All I can do is
sit back and see what happens. I wont turn her away if she wants to come back, but while she is gone she has to deal with day to day stuff on her own,
I am not going to hold her hand and drop everything when ever she gets into trouble. If you want the benefits of independant living you have to look
after yourself. Thats what responsibility is. She had the luxury of our support while she was with us, but she had to live with the rules. Now she is
on her own. We will see if she has the bottle to make it alone.
Rob.....
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jenz58
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| posted on July 8th, 2007 at 07:43 PM |
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Oh Rob you have been through a tough time...fingers crossed what you have taught her rubs off and she makes the right decisions at the right
time..sounds like there is a bit of peer pressure involved from her friends and teenage girls came be difficult with all the hormonal changes...no
saying boyz don't go through a change but girls are more emotional...my 2 boyz were a breeze compared to Bridie
Sounds like you were being pretty good about things Rob..not too old fashioned...just wanting to protect your 16 yr old daughter...normal stuff
Hang in there.. hopefully a bit of space was all that was needed by all.my fingers are crossed
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jenz58
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| posted on July 8th, 2007 at 07:51 PM |
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..p.s....too get your mind off of things for a bit I will try and post picks of my shed which IS UP!!!
I think the electrician is coming during the week to wire it...we went out yesterday and brought 3 big fluro light units and spots light with sensor
for the front of it
Things are still in storage until this is all done..don't need a light being dropped on Bel...plus we had a busy weekend going to a party and then
family gathering today...have only spent a few hours at home all weekend
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jenz58
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| posted on July 8th, 2007 at 08:01 PM |
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Hopefully I have downsized them enough now..
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jenz58
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| posted on July 8th, 2007 at 08:04 PM |
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Yippppeee!! Where the new piece of driveway is used to be where I had a bungalow which wasn't worther saving...and we really needed a shed
Now I'll down load a couple of pics of the shed up
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jenz58
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| posted on July 8th, 2007 at 08:28 PM |
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Now for THE SHED!! :thumb
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helbus
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| posted on July 8th, 2007 at 09:22 PM |
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WOW!
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vw54
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| posted on July 9th, 2007 at 08:10 AM |
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Jen the shed looks yum
Is it all complete yet
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vw54
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| posted on July 9th, 2007 at 08:18 AM |
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Rob
I just read your post Bloody hell keep your chin up mate hopefully she will still be aware that you guys are around, and not get too mixed up.
Support is probally the best method, ask her to come home for dinner now n then maybe she will come round and understand your ( mine to ) way of
thinking
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Robo
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| posted on July 9th, 2007 at 05:30 PM |
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Thanks for your support and kind words people. I have spoken to a couple of friends about it, one of them is a youth councilor and they both seem to
say the same thing. These days this sort of behavior from teenagers of both gender is unfortuneatly the norm. We are not the only parents suffering
the exact same problems. Our daughter is completely unreasonable self centered and gets quite nasty if she does not get what she wants when she wants.
Every one in the house has to bow to her demands and wants, she dose not want to contribute period. Jodie found a bottle of jack daniels in her bag
yesterday morning. When Jodie questioned her about it she said it was her friends not hers. Then she proceded to give Jodie a mouthful of cheek. I
hate to say this, she is my daughter and I love her dearly, but honestly she has just become uncontrolable and is causing the whole family grief. I
will glad to see the back of her, until she realises what an ass she has been.
Rob....
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| posted on July 9th, 2007 at 05:31 PM |
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Oh
And Jen. Great shed. when can I move in?
Rob....
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helbus
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| posted on July 9th, 2007 at 06:30 PM |
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When is the shed warming party?
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jenz58
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| posted on July 9th, 2007 at 09:02 PM |
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...Rob good stand on it all....I know as a parent you often wonder if your kids ar going to cry wolf if they don't get their own way...luckily I
didn't have such confronting encounters with my kids but did hear of others who did..not sure if there is a right or wrong way to do things, a lot
depends on their friends maybe and who each of our kids are in themselves...I hope for your family it has a good end to the story but it may take
time...look after yourselves and good you have someone to talk to who has experience with teenagers
Yes you can stay in the shed anytime...but I did reassure the council that it was not going to be lived in.....hmmm pity they didn't let me do the
barn I'd originally planned I could have made a nice loft...and the shed people were asking if I wanted partitions ...how tempting hehe
Have you had a chance to just get in Pige for a drive and just enjoy for a bit?
Final inspection is tomorrow
Pete I think I might wait for the rain to stop before we have a party...can you believe what a winter we are having...the yard is a muddy swamp...BUT
we do have a nice big bit of concrete drive to set up the BBQ on !!
Not sure if the plumber came today...to put the down pipes in that is
The electrician is coming on Thursday....to put the lights and power points in
i'm wondering if I should have someone come to seal the concrete before we get our oil drippers home? What do you think? Is it worth sealing the
concrete or just slide a drip tray or cardboard under them??
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helbus
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| posted on July 9th, 2007 at 09:19 PM |
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Pffft. What is a garage without oil stains. In no time I had oil, paint, burnouts, everything imaginable on the new concrete floor. I just cant have
it too good.
I used cardboard when the oil runs out though. 
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jenz58
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| posted on July 9th, 2007 at 09:33 PM |
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Cool...yes it is a shed ...and it can't be too clean or it will be sterile and feel unlived in
Then again I can have people take their shoes off at the door haha
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helbus
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| posted on July 10th, 2007 at 06:21 PM |
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Not a shed 
A garage 
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jenz58
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| posted on July 11th, 2007 at 08:48 PM |
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lol...a garage
Pete...you work in a paint shop don't you? My daughter Bride had the boot of her car keyed and she is wanting to know a car painter to take it too?
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helbus
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| posted on July 12th, 2007 at 07:07 PM |
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:thumb Yeah sheds are for wheelbarrows and lawn mowers.
Garage is for cars, and some drinking.
PM me about Brides car. I may be able to help.
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penguin
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| posted on July 13th, 2007 at 06:47 PM |
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Okies,
have a working party planned for out here tomorrow, hopefully the next stage gets done. Maybe even get into the carport construction as well!!
Hers a skeletal pic of what is to be.
[ Edited on 13-7-2007 by penguin ]
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'Ah, whatever................'
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penguin
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| posted on July 13th, 2007 at 06:52 PM |
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What you can't see is the 6x6 shed already there off to the left. The space in between is going to be a 6x6 carport for the cars to live under. The
sheds are for ME!!
Only annoying this is that by design I will have a post for the carport about 1m into the first roller door opening. Those two single members that are
leaning against the uprights are the overhead beams that the roller doors run next to. The personal access door is the framed thing leaning on this
side, it goes into the opening right next to where it is now. And the two water tanks will cathc the rain (if it ever bloody rains) from all three
roofs and hopefully keep my garden alive.
Shall try to get a couple up Sunday afternoon/evening to see what a difference two days makes.
'Ah, whatever................'
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jenz58
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| posted on July 15th, 2007 at 06:50 PM |
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How did you go Penguin? It will be cool when it's finished!
Eddie and I were out in the 'garage' today seeping to get all the dry mud up before we move the cars and stuff in next Friday
I was wanting to put a water tank behind the shed but it is SO muddy and churned up you lose your gum boots at the moment...the nice flat garden area
we made beside the slab is a churned up mess...today was the first time we had a chance to sweep the drive and inside the shed..a rain free arvo....I
bet as soon as we do get a tank in the rain will stop again
Post some more pics Penguin
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helbus
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| posted on July 15th, 2007 at 07:20 PM |
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Can we have a party now?
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penguin
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| posted on July 15th, 2007 at 08:48 PM |
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Okies,
all framed up and braced (stacks of bracing). Now to cut some sheets of tin and start sheeting the walls.
Hops to start that through the week afetr work and maybe take next friday off.
'Ah, whatever................'
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