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 KruizinKombi
A.k.a.: Col
Bishop of Volkswagenism
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| posted on September 25th, 2003 at 05:26 PM |
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A pic from Thook:
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Kruizin Kol
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KruizinKombi
A.k.a.: Col
Bishop of Volkswagenism
Seriously Obsessed Cyber Dubber
Posts: 3493
Threads: 104
Registered: August 25th, 2002
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| posted on September 25th, 2003 at 05:28 PM |
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More from Heather... 
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Kruizin Kol
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KruizinKombi
A.k.a.: Col
Bishop of Volkswagenism
Seriously Obsessed Cyber Dubber
Posts: 3493
Threads: 104
Registered: August 25th, 2002
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Location: Gippsland, Victoria
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| posted on September 25th, 2003 at 05:30 PM |
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Kruizin Kol
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KruizinKombi
A.k.a.: Col
Bishop of Volkswagenism
Seriously Obsessed Cyber Dubber
Posts: 3493
Threads: 104
Registered: August 25th, 2002
Member Is Offline
Location: Gippsland, Victoria
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| posted on September 25th, 2003 at 05:33 PM |
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Kruizin Kol
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KruizinKombi
A.k.a.: Col
Bishop of Volkswagenism
Seriously Obsessed Cyber Dubber
Posts: 3493
Threads: 104
Registered: August 25th, 2002
Member Is Offline
Location: Gippsland, Victoria
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| posted on September 25th, 2003 at 05:35 PM |
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Kruizin Kol
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KruizinKombi
A.k.a.: Col
Bishop of Volkswagenism
Seriously Obsessed Cyber Dubber
Posts: 3493
Threads: 104
Registered: August 25th, 2002
Member Is Offline
Location: Gippsland, Victoria
Theme: UltimaBB Pro Blue ( Default )
Mood: Indifferent
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| posted on September 25th, 2003 at 05:55 PM |
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Kruizin Kol
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KruizinKombi
A.k.a.: Col
Bishop of Volkswagenism
Seriously Obsessed Cyber Dubber
Posts: 3493
Threads: 104
Registered: August 25th, 2002
Member Is Offline
Location: Gippsland, Victoria
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| posted on September 25th, 2003 at 05:57 PM |
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Kruizin Kol
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KruizinKombi
A.k.a.: Col
Bishop of Volkswagenism
Seriously Obsessed Cyber Dubber
Posts: 3493
Threads: 104
Registered: August 25th, 2002
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Location: Gippsland, Victoria
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| posted on September 25th, 2003 at 05:59 PM |
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Not so secret...
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Kruizin Kol
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KruizinKombi
A.k.a.: Col
Bishop of Volkswagenism
Seriously Obsessed Cyber Dubber
Posts: 3493
Threads: 104
Registered: August 25th, 2002
Member Is Offline
Location: Gippsland, Victoria
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| posted on September 25th, 2003 at 05:59 PM |
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Which way? :o
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Kruizin Kol
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zac_smits
A.k.a.: Zac
Wolfsburg Elder
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| posted on September 25th, 2003 at 08:25 PM |
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very nice. had a good laugh at a few of them. (what is with the power pole in the middle of the road????)
MOB: 0423890217
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jenz58
Scirocco Rare
Postal Menace
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| posted on September 25th, 2003 at 10:32 PM |
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Dentist sign is a classic LOL
Maybe for the last one the town is on a circular road:jesus
Got a very long but funny email from my son. He went on a drunken bus trip from London to the Octoberfest with a bunch of friends and house mates.
Bazza Mackenzie lives
Just got one of those Sierra Leone emails as I was just typing. Spooky
NO I DON'T WANT YOUR MONEY IN MY BANK ACCOUNT!!!:jesus
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Oasis
Custom Title Time!
Going alone...
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| posted on September 26th, 2003 at 01:56 AM |
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Sofa anyone?
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"Tell him 'We've already got one'"
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Oasis
Custom Title Time!
Going alone...
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| posted on September 26th, 2003 at 01:57 AM |
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Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht
frist and lsat ltteer is at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed
ervey lteter by it slef but the wrod as a wlohe
"Tell him 'We've already got one'"
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Oasis
Custom Title Time!
Going alone...
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| posted on September 26th, 2003 at 02:11 AM |
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These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:
1. Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.
2. Announcement in a church bulletin for a national PRAYER & FASTING Conference: "The cost for attending the Fasting & Prayer Conference
includes meals."
3. The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."
4. Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
5. "Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't
forget your husbands.
6. The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been cancelled due to a conflict.
7. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't
care much about you.
8. Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
9. Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
10. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
11. Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
12. Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor
Jack's sermons.
13. The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing: "Break Forth Into Joy."
14. Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24th in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
15. A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
16. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
17. Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
18. Scouts are saving aluminium cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
19. Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
20 . Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch.
21. The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment and gracious hostility.
22. Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
23. The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
24. This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn sing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
25. Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
26. The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
27. Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
28. The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this
tragedy.
29. Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
30. The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours."
31. Our next song is: "Angels We Have Heard Get High."
"Tell him 'We've already got one'"
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jenz58
Scirocco Rare
Postal Menace
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| posted on September 26th, 2003 at 09:39 AM |
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LOL Oasis
I can see the point and it works!!!!
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Boozer
Custom Title Time!
Demented But Determined
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| posted on September 26th, 2003 at 09:50 AM |
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These next two pics are of a $200 dollar bill (yes $200 dollar note you heard me correctly). Police in Kentucky are looking for a customer who
succeded in paying for a $2 order at a fast food restaurant with a fake $200 bill featuring a picture of President George W. Bush and a depiction of
the white house with a lawn sign saying, "we like broccoli." Authorities say the female checkout operator at a Dairy Queen in Danville even
gave the culprit $198 in real money as change. As you can see the bill is very, highly detailed and is obviously intended as a joke and never to be
taken seriously.
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THe MC Bat Commander's motto: "Never do now, what you could do for 24 hours straight, all night, the night before."
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Boozer
Custom Title Time!
Demented But Determined
Posts: 1999
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| posted on September 26th, 2003 at 09:51 AM |
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the other side...
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THe MC Bat Commander's motto: "Never do now, what you could do for 24 hours straight, all night, the night before."
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amazer
Bishop of Volkswagenism
kombi pilot
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| posted on September 26th, 2003 at 10:27 PM |
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| Quote: | Originally
posted by amazer
Another darwin award... not from an email but from the local news.
A 23 yr old dapto man is in hospital in stable condition. He was left with serious wounds to his genitals and nearby regions when fireworks went off
between his buttocks.
:o
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See! I'm not lying!
http://illawarramercury.com.au/articles/2003/09/03/1062515432209.html
Chris.... kombi pilot, oval dreamer... finisher #26971 2005 city to surf
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zac_smits
A.k.a.: Zac
Wolfsburg Elder
Coolest Person Ever!
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| posted on September 28th, 2003 at 01:42 AM |
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ouch!!! that's really not a nice article to read before you go to bed.
well, night 
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Oasis
Custom Title Time!
Going alone...
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| posted on September 28th, 2003 at 02:35 AM |
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Back on the wild frontier an American Soldier was fighting the Indians with bows and arrows. At the end of the day he was filled with arrows from top
to bottom. He lowered himself into a hot spring to ease the pain. A fellow soldier asked him, "Does it hurt?" He replied, "Only when I
laugh."
"Tell him 'We've already got one'"
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Oasis
Custom Title Time!
Going alone...
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| posted on September 30th, 2003 at 03:17 AM |
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Two vultures board an airplane; each carries two dead raccoons. The
> > stewardess looks at them and says: "I'm sorry, gentlemen, only one
> > carrion
> > allowed per passenger."
> > >
> > 2. Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and
> > became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and
> > never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as "the
> > lesser of two weevils."
> > >
> > 3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but, when they lit a fire
> in
> > the craft, it sank, proving once again that: you can't have your kayak
and
> > heat it, too.
> > >
> > 4. A three-legged dog walked into a saloon in the Old West. He slid up
to
> > the bar and announced, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
> > >
> > 5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocaine during a root
> > canal? He wanted to transcend dental medication.
> > >
> > 6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing
in
> > the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an
> hour,
> > the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But
why?"
> > one asked, as they moved off.
> > "Because," the manager replied, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an
> > open foyer."
> > >
> > 7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to
a
> > family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in
Spain;
> > they name him "Juan."
> > Year's later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon
> > receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also
had
> a
> > picture of Ahmal.
> > Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen
> > Ahmal."
> > >
> > 8. A group of friars were behind on their grocery payments, so they
opened
> > up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy
> flowers
> > from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition
> was
> > unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not.
> > He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the
> rival
> > florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in
town
> to
> > "persuade" them to close.
> > Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if
> they
> > didn't close up shop.
> > Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that: Hugh, and only Hugh, can
> > prevent florist friars.
> > >
> > 9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which
> > produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very
> little,
> > which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad
> > breath. This made him ... what?
> > A super callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
> > >
> > 10. And finally, there was a person who sent ten different puns to
> friends,
> > with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh.
> > Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
"Tell him 'We've already got one'"
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KruizinKombi
A.k.a.: Col
Bishop of Volkswagenism
Seriously Obsessed Cyber Dubber
Posts: 3493
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| posted on September 30th, 2003 at 07:35 PM |
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A rali sensibl ritn style
Letters to the editor - local paper
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It would appear the change agents never tire for they are now making changes to the English language.
The European Commision has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which
was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and
has accepted a five year phase-in plan that would be known as 'Euro-English'.
In the first year, S will repolace the soft C. Sertainly this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. That hard C will be dropped in favour of K.
This should klear up the konfusion and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
troublesome PH will be replaced with F. This will make words like fotograf 20 persent shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments
will enkourage the removal of double leters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent E
in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing TH with Z, and W with V. During ze fifz year ze unesesary O kan be dropd from
vords kontaining OU and similar changes vud of kurs be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. Agter ze fifz year ve vil hav a rali sensibl ritn styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl of difikutis and evriun vil find it ezi tu inderstand ech ozer.
What would Shakespeare say?
E. Nowak, Carrajung
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Kruizin Kol
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zac_smits
A.k.a.: Zac
Wolfsburg Elder
Coolest Person Ever!
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| posted on September 30th, 2003 at 09:32 PM |
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oasis...they r absolute shockers...
kruizinkombi...ahh the irony, the irony
we r tenagers...we abrivate alrady :P
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Oasis
Custom Title Time!
Going alone...
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| posted on October 2nd, 2003 at 02:12 AM |
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sorry
Sorry Zac, you're right, but I've been taught to never give up, so here's another attempt.... And Col, that's my favourite one by
a long shot.
Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch.
Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a
bull so that they can breed their own stock. Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull,
I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home."
The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she wants to buy it. The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no
less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph office, and
says, "I want to send a
telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here
so we can haul it home.
The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word."
After paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one w word. After a few
minutes of thinking, she nods and says, "I want you to send her the word "comfortable." The operator shakes his head. "How is she
ever
going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her just
the word ?"
The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde. The word's big. She'll read it very slowly ................ com-for-da-bul.
[Edited on 1-10-2003 by Oasis]
"Tell him 'We've already got one'"
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amazer
Bishop of Volkswagenism
kombi pilot
Posts: 3187
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| posted on October 2nd, 2003 at 09:36 AM |
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A general store owner hires a young female clerk who
likes to wear very short skirts and thong panties. One day a young
man enters the store, glances at the clerk and glances at the
loaves of bread behind the counter. Noticing the length of her skirt
(or general lack thereof) and the location of the raisin bread, he
has a brilliant idea.
" I'd like some raisin bread please," the man says.
The clerk nods and climbs up a ladder to reach the raisin bread,
which is located on the very top shelf. The young man standing
almost directly beneath her is provided with an excellent view, just
as he surmised he would be.
Once she descends the ladder he muses that he really
should get 2 loaves as he's having company for dinner. As the clerk
retrieves the 2nd loaf of bread, one of the other male customers
notices what's going on. Thinking quickly, he requests his own loaf
of raisin bread so he can continue to enjoy the view.
With each trip up the ladder the young lady seems to
catch the eye of another male customer. Pretty soon each person is
asking for raisin bread, just to see the clerk climb up and down. After
many trips she's tired, irritated, and thinking that she is really
going to have to try this bread for herself. Finally, once again atop
the ladder, she stops and fumes, glaring at the men standing below.
She notices an elderly man standing amongst the crowd staring up at
her.
Thinking to save herself a trip, she yells, "Is yours raisin, too?"
No, " croaks the old man.... " but it's startin' to twitch."
Chris.... kombi pilot, oval dreamer... finisher #26971 2005 city to surf
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amazer
Bishop of Volkswagenism
kombi pilot
Posts: 3187
Threads: 308
Registered: August 26th, 2002
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Location: Wollongong
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| posted on October 2nd, 2003 at 09:38 AM |
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A new company, feeling it was time for a shake-up, hires a new CEO. This new boss is determined to rid the company of all slackers. On a tour of the
facilities, the CEO notices a guy leaning on a wall. The room is full of workers and he thinks this is his chance to show everyone he means business!
The CEO, walks up to the guy and asks - “and how much money do you make a week?”
Undaunted, the young fellow looks at him and replies, “I make $200.00 a week. Why?”
The CEO then hands the guy $200 in cash and screams - “here’s a week’s pay, now GET OUT and don’t come back!”
Feeling pretty good about his first firing, the CEO looks around the room and asks - “does anyone want to tell me what that slacker did here?”
With a sheepish grin, one of the other workers mutters - “That was the Pizza delivery guy”.
Chris.... kombi pilot, oval dreamer... finisher #26971 2005 city to surf
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Boozer
Custom Title Time!
Demented But Determined
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| posted on October 2nd, 2003 at 05:52 PM |
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this one is self explanatory... he he bugs in teeth...
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Boozer
Custom Title Time!
Demented But Determined
Posts: 1999
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Registered: December 30th, 2002
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Theme: UltimaBB Pro Blue ( Default )
Mood: What the crap?
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| posted on October 2nd, 2003 at 05:55 PM |
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...
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Boozer
Custom Title Time!
Demented But Determined
Posts: 1999
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| posted on October 2nd, 2003 at 05:56 PM |
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this is a bit sus but go with it...
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Boozer
Custom Title Time!
Demented But Determined
Posts: 1999
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Registered: December 30th, 2002
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Location: Redland Bay, Brisbane
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Mood: What the crap?
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| posted on October 2nd, 2003 at 05:58 PM |
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ahh the american coast guard...i wanna boat like that:cry
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