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posted on November 27th, 2013 at 06:56 AM
Understanding Engineers
Two engineering students were biking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to
the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."
The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice: The clothes probably wouldn't have fitted you anyway."
Understanding Engineers #2
To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
Understanding Engineers #3
A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys?
We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!"
The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!"
The priest said, "Here comes the greens-keeper. Let's have a word with him."
He said, "Hello George, What's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"
The greens-keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always
let them play for free anytime."
The group fell silent for a moment. The priest said, "That's so sad.I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."
The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything she can do for them."
The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"
Understanding Engineers #4
What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?
The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
Understanding Engineers #6
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing who must have designed the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just
look at all the joints."
Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections."
The last one said, "No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"
Understanding Engineers #7
Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.
Understanding Engineers #8
An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."
He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn back into a beautiful princess and stay with you for one week."
The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.
The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want."
Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you
want. Why won't you kiss me?"
The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog Now that's cool."
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posted on November 27th, 2013 at 08:07 AM
My job entails dealing with engineers on a daily basis both civil and structural, and i have to say that all of these jokes are plauseable!
EVERLAST CONCRETE TANKS
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HappyDaze
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posted on November 27th, 2013 at 08:43 AM
Our two sons [one's an engineer, one's an architect] were discussing who is more important in the design of buildings.
Architect....."If engineers were in charge, all buildings would be ugly blocks of concrete".
Engineer....."If architects were in charge, all buildings would probably fall down".
I'd rather wear a Beetle out by racing it than by polishing it!
beetleboyjeff
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posted on November 27th, 2013 at 09:57 AM
Quote:
Originally
posted by HappyDaze
Our two sons [one's an engineer, one's an architect] were discussing who is more important in the design of buildings.
Architect....."If engineers were in charge, all buildings would be ugly blocks of concrete".
Engineer....."If architects were in charge, all buildings would probably fall down".
But as a builder, I know the truth is that if the builder and all the tradies didn't sort out all the Architect's & Engineer's problems when
they tried to build it (usually at a great cost in time and sometimes, materials), the buildings would not get built at all.
From your ole' mate Jeff
modulus
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posted on November 27th, 2013 at 03:29 PM
Quote:
Originally
posted by mactaylor
My job entails dealing with engineers on a daily basis both civil and structural, and i have to say that all of these jokes are plauseable!
plauseable nothing, dead true.!
I dream of a day when a chicken can cross a road without being asked for it's motive!
donn
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posted on November 27th, 2013 at 03:30 PM
Quote:
Originally
posted by beetleboyjeff
Quote:
But as a builder, I know the truth is that if the builder and all the tradies didn't sort out all the Architect's & Engineer's problems when
they tried to build it (usually at a great cost in time and sometimes, materials), the buildings would not get built at all.
Right on Jeff.
I dream of a day when a chicken can cross a road without being asked for it's motive!
Lucky Phil
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posted on November 27th, 2013 at 06:15 PM
Anyone can make a mistake.
But to stuff up on a grand scale, you need a degree!
