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posted on February 25th, 2004 at 07:21 PM
2008 OLYMPIC Bid for Dandenong
In order to increase the likelihood that the
successful bidders will win at least some medals,
the competition has been somewhat modified.
However, fierce competition is expected from rival
areas such as Cranbourne, Frankston, Broadmeadows,
Thomastown, Bayswater and Sunshine etc.
OPENING CEREMONY
The Olympic flame will be ignited by a petrol bomb
thrown by a native of the City wearing traditional
flannelette shirt, jeans and moccasins with his
de-facto wearing the traditional floral leggings and
short top with oversized stomach and fat backside.
THE EVENTS
100 METRE SPRINT
Competitors will have to hold a VCR under one arm and
a microwave under the other and on the sound of the
starting pistol, a Police Dog will be released 10
meters behind the athletes.
100 METRE HURDLES
As above with the added obstacles, car bonnets,
hedges, garden fences and walls.
HAMMER THROW
Competitors in this event may choose the type of
hammer they wish to use (claw, sledge etc.)
The winner will be the one who can cause the
most grievous bodily harm to members of the public
within the timeframe allowed.
SHOOTING EVENTS
A strong challenge is expected from the men in this
event. The first target will be a moving police
vehicle, the second targets will consist of running
bank Tellers, Video store Attendant and 24-hour
service Station Attendants.
BOXING
Entry to the boxing will be restricted to husband and
wife teams and will take place on Friday Night. The
husband will be given 15 pots of VB at the local pub
followed by a quick peek in a lap-dancing venue. The
wife will be told not to make him any dinner when he
gets home. She will be wearing bike pants, boob tube
and thongs and a fag hanging out of her mouth.
CYCLING
The competitor will attend the nominated City
skateboard area where they will obtain a bicycle
stolen from a Scotch College or Mentone Boys Grammar
student. They then will be racing against the clock.
Bonus points will be awarded should a helmet be
obtained at time of theft.
MODERN PENTATHLON
Amended to include Robbery with Violence, Burglary,
Unlawful Use of a Motor Vehicle, Arson and Wilful
Exposure.
MEN'S 50km WALK
Unfortunately this event will have to be cancelled, as
organisers cannot guarantee the safety of anyone
walking the streets of Dandenong.
GYMNASTICS
The traditional 4-inch beam will be replaced by the
strip of gutter outside the Dandenong Hotel. This
event will commence at closing time - we expect some
extremely difficult dismounts to be performed on the
apparatus. The floor routines will be held directly
after this event at the Dandenong Police Watch-house.
CLOSING CEREMONY
Entertainment will include the local Torres Straight
Islander group accompanied by other local artists well
known within the area. The Olympic flame will be
extinguished by the same local identities urinating
from the local spire in a cascading effect. The
stadium will then be boarded up before local athletes
and entertainers break into it and remove all copper
piping, light fittings and air conditioners etc
BAJA NOW FITTED WITH A FULL FLYING REBUILD
HotRodMatt
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If it's old or rare - cut it!
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posted on February 25th, 2004 at 07:23 PM
I thought Paddington / Oxford Street was putting one up too...
100 metre mince
Dummy spitting
Imagine the Olympic Village... Tents - camp as far afar as they eye can see.
Quoll
Officially Full-On Dubber
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posted on February 25th, 2004 at 09:12 PM
Lol very funny :thumb:thumb
even funnier cos I go to Mentone
[Edited on 25-2-2004 by Quoll]
baybuscamperkid
Compulsive Aussie Vee Dubber
prince of insufficient light, ruler of heck
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posted on February 25th, 2004 at 09:45 PM
shouldnt have admitted that Quoll! i goto Yarra Valley. we verse you guys in sport!
Reimagined/Recycled/Upcycled Cool
Cruzin in a Golf
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posted on February 25th, 2004 at 11:44 PM
Either Dandenong or Redfern will do for such events as your suggesting Flying VW. Sure to attract attention and plenty of willing participants. LOL
Cruzin in a Golf
