| [ Total Views: 2247 | Total Replies: 24 | Thread Id: 90285 ] |
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 t_tuffnut
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| posted on May 5th, 2011 at 08:34 PM |
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Attacked by Zombies at Bunnings
Ok, so you are at bunnings when the store comes under attack by swarms of Zombies who want to eat your tasty brains.
You can only carry 3 items to defend yourself.
What would you grab and why?
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 barls
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| posted on May 5th, 2011 at 08:44 PM |
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hail to the king baby.
chainsaw.
extremely large jerry can full of fuel
and a garden sprayer.
why could it not have been S mart instead of bunnings at least then i could of got a shotgun.
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LUFTMEISTER
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| posted on May 5th, 2011 at 08:54 PM |
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paslode nail gun with 4" nails and spare gas cartridges
machete
crowbar
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h
A.k.a.: Towely BuMpEr KING! ILLegal ALIEN on a roadtrip
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| posted on May 5th, 2011 at 09:02 PM |
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machete
broom
till
machete to cut em down
broom to sweep a clean path from body bits outta the shop
till to be rewarded well for a good job..
as westfarmers are really gunna reward ya well for a good job.. I think not
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Sides
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| posted on May 5th, 2011 at 09:10 PM |
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Question... do I have my Zombie Survival Guide with me, or is it in my truck ???
Either way, from Bunnings I take a big ass pair of bolt cutters, a petrol powered Quick Cut and a machete.
Bolt cutters for dealing with padlocks and chains easily
Quick Cut for dealing with security doors and safes
Machete for personal, close-range protection
Zombies don't move real quick remember... so no need to fight your way out, just dodge around the suckers. Unless you have the situational awareness
of a frikken rock and don't see the warning signs, should be easily doable.
Anyway, once I have the above gear I get my ass out to my truck, and book it down to the local gun store and tool up.... a nice, reliable rifle in a
common caliber (.223 ideally) and good optics plus a practical side arm... pref 9mm with a decent mag capacity.
Zombies come in hordes... ain't never gonna deal with that with Bunnings supplied firepower. Relying on petrol powered weapons you're certain to end
up as chow, and you want to be shooting the most common type of ammo possible.
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waveman1500
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| posted on May 5th, 2011 at 09:25 PM |
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Well, to give me a bit more reach I think I'd go for one of those high-powered whipper-snippers with the chainsaw attachment at the end of a long
pole. May take a bit of skill to wield it effectively but staying more than an arm's reach from the zombies would help reduce the risk of infection
from blood spatter!
After that, I think I would probably need some kind of flame throwing device, maybe a big propane blowtorch? Or an oxy set if there were any compact
oxy/acetylene bottles handy, perhaps on one of those backpacks which plumbers use.
Okay, now that cutting and burning are covered I need transport, especially with all that heavy equipment, and what could be better than mowing the
zombies down?!
So, we've got the biggest and fastes ride-on mower which they have in stock, with a 9kg lpg cylinder on the back and a big torch, plus an
extended-reach chainsaw. It would probably be best to strap/cable tie/duct tape the blowtorch to the end of the chainsaw pole for ease of handling. I
reckon I would make it out alive!
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Sides
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| posted on May 5th, 2011 at 09:26 PM |
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C'mon people... you really think you can incapacitate a Zombie with fire BEFORE he gets his teeth into you ?!?!
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t_tuffnut
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| posted on May 5th, 2011 at 09:46 PM |
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My list was
Pitch fork for close quarters,
Blow torch like waveman suggested
And a propane tank to power it.
No one has thought any personal protective clothing to be important - probably a trait of many DIY mechanics I guess!
You could always wrap spray paint cans in cloth, ignite em and use them as grenades
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bajachris88
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| posted on May 5th, 2011 at 10:54 PM |
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1) Subdue the Zombies from pool chemical section materials, mixing chlorine and Hydrochloric acid to produce Chlorine gas, which in solution in the
lungs will reform into hydrochloric acid and burn them from the inside, disabling them if not killing them. Respirators of specific kind can filter
this out for your own benefit.
2) Suprised no one has suggested the Ammonia nitrate from the gardening section lol. While the zombies lungs are getting fried,
using a flame or detonator source (explosives like the gun powder in explosive based nail guns) will trigger the explosion :P KAPOW!
3) Again, using chlorine, but mixed with brake fluid in bottles filled with nails, as long as you throw the bottle quick after mixing, it will explode
into a shrapnel bomb, and we get the picture 
Or if all else fails, throw a porcelain loo at em :P
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barls
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| posted on May 5th, 2011 at 11:11 PM |
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chris, zombies dont breath so number one is out.
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waveman1500
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| posted on May 5th, 2011 at 11:12 PM |
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I'm impressed with the chemistry, Bajachris, but where's the fun in gassing zombies? Running them over with a ride-on mower at 30km/h is going to be
much more spectacular! In any case, going by most popular zombie folklore, shrapnel wounds and lung-burning gas won't do anything to zombies, as
they're not alive by conventional standards. Always remember, to kill a zombie, you must remove the head or destroy the brain!
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bajachris88
A.k.a.: Chris Leete
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| posted on May 5th, 2011 at 11:16 PM |
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lol, OH! Zombies! I thought u meant beaurocrats
Can we put arc welder terminals to each of their nipples?
mind you Lawn mower mess has like a trophy evil laugh kinda stance to it , reds such a passionate powerful colour lol
(ô_!_/ô) (ô_!_/ô)
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mactaylor
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| posted on May 6th, 2011 at 08:14 AM |
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i thought all bunnings workers were zombies!
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 Yogie
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| posted on May 6th, 2011 at 08:44 AM |
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I would get my safety goggles, high vis vest and ear muffs.
With all of that gear I would HAVE to be safe from everything..........wouldn't I 
Yogie
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HappyDaze
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| posted on May 6th, 2011 at 08:46 AM |
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Bloody Hell!.........I'm NEVER going to Bunnings EVER again.
I'd rather wear a Beetle out by racing it than by polishing it!
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t_tuffnut
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| posted on May 6th, 2011 at 08:47 AM |
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Your thinking of servo attendants who get the graveyard shift ( pun definitely intended).
You could also attach a powered cement mixer to the front of the ride on lawn mower and weld a few breaker bars to across the opening of the bucket so
that you have a spinning decapitator to knock the hoard down before finishing them with the cutting deck.
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zocstar
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| posted on May 6th, 2011 at 08:55 AM |
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| Quote: | Originally
posted by mactaylor
i thought all bunnings workers were zombies!
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Close, they are alive but just have no brains.
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beetleboyjeff
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| posted on May 6th, 2011 at 09:39 AM |
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| Quote: | Originally
posted by mactaylor
i thought all bunnings workers were zombies!
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You mean Bunnings EMPLOYEES - I wouldn't call them WORKERS.
From your ole' mate Jeff
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rose
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| posted on May 6th, 2011 at 01:34 PM |
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I would grab a big muscly tradesman with a blow torch and a shovel.
The big muscly tradie to protect me and I can hide behind
while he chops off there heads with the shovel
than burns the suckers with the blow torch
[img][/img]
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Pollywaffle
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| posted on May 6th, 2011 at 01:48 PM |
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| Quote: | Originally
posted by zocstar
| Quote: | Originally
posted by mactaylor
i thought all bunnings workers were zombies!
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Close, they are alive but just have no brains.
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Sides
A.k.a.: Dave Sidery
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| posted on May 6th, 2011 at 01:58 PM |
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| Quote: | Originally
posted by rose
I would grab a big muscly tradesman with a blow and a shovel.
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I hope that's a typo Rose !!!
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DubCty
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| posted on May 6th, 2011 at 08:52 PM |
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Tough choice......
1) A bag of cement - to harden up
2) A 2meter length of 2X4 timber - to smack them down with
3) A sausage from the lions club on the way out - coz they smell so good!
Straight Cuts – The Best Preparation For A Wife!
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i3ravo
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| posted on May 9th, 2011 at 06:01 PM |
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| Quote: | Originally
posted by beetleboyjeff
| Quote: | Originally
posted by mactaylor
i thought all bunnings workers were zombies!
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You mean Bunnings EMPLOYEES - I wouldn't call them WORKERS.
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You mean 'team members' because it encourages a more productive work environment
1)Chainsaw - Kinda obvious
3)Large esky - to fit in the beer (im off to liquorland when ive slain the deathbringers)
2)4 Wheeled drag cart - to carry the esky
I didnt do anyhing wrong! And I wont do it again!
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Lucky Phil
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| posted on May 11th, 2011 at 12:17 PM |
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| Quote: | Originally
posted by waveman1500
I'm impressed with the chemistry, Bajachris, but where's the fun in gassing zombies? Running them over with a ride-on mower at 30km/h is going to be
much more spectacular! In any case, going by most popular zombie folklore, shrapnel wounds and lung-burning gas won't do anything to zombies, as
they're not alive by conventional standards. Always remember, to kill a zombie, you must remove the head or destroy the brain!
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If you want to destroy their brains, Just put Wayne Swan's Treasurers report on the promotional tv's.
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ibmoknegawsklov
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| posted on May 15th, 2011 at 06:16 PM |
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I would actually want to be a zombie so nothing for me please.......geez i am a tight wad......
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