Found this on a yank site.
-THE IMAGE OF RANK-
A GENERAL: LEAPS TALL BUILDINGS IN A SINGLE BOUND, IS MORE POWERFUL THAN A LOCOMOTIVE, IS FASTER THAN A SPEEDING BULLET, WALKS ON WATER, AND GIVES POLICY TO GOD.
A COLONEL: LEAPS SHORT BUILDINGS WITH A SINGLE BOUND, IS MORE POWERFUL THAN A SWITCH ENGINE, IS JUST AS FAST AS A SPEEDING BULLET, WALKS ON WATER IF THE SEA IS CALM, AND TALKS TO GOD.
A LIEUTENANT COLONEL : LEAPS SHORT BUILDINGS WITH A RUNNING START AND A FAVORABLE WIND, IS ALMOST AS POWERFUL AS A SWITCH ENGINE, IS FASTER THAN A SPEEDING B-B, WALKS ON WATER IN AN INDOOR SWIMMING POOL, AND TALKS TO GOD “IF” A SPECIAL REQUEST IS APPROVED OF.
A MAJOR : BARELY CLEARS QUONSET HUTS, LOSES TUG OF WAR WITH LOCOMOTIVES, CAN FIRE A SPEEDING BULLET, SWIMS WELL, AND IS OCCASIONALLY ADDRESSED BY GOD.
A CAPTAIN: MAKES HIGH MARKS WHEN TRYING TO LEAP BUILDINGS, IS RUN OVER BY LOCOMOTIVES, CAN SOMETIMES HANDLE A GUN WITHOUT INFLICTING SELF-INJURY, CAN DOG-PADDLE, AND TALKS TO ANIMALS.
LIEUTENANT: RUNS INTO BUILDINGS, RECOGNIZES LOCOMOTIVES TWO OUT OF THREE TIMES, IS NOT ISSUED AMMUNITION, CAN STAY AFLOAT IF PROPERLY INSTRUCTED, AND TALKS TO WATER.
A SUB LIEUTENANT: FALLS OVER DOORSILS WHEN TRYING TO ENTER BUILDINGS, SAYS, “LOOK AT THE CHOO-CHOO”, WETS HIMSELF WITH A WATER PISTOL, AND MUMBLES TO HIMSELF.
AN NCO: LIFTS BUILDINGS AND THEN WALKS UNDER THEM, KICKS LOCOMOTIVES OFF THE TRACK, CATCHES SPEEDING BULLETS IN HIS TEETH AND CHEWS THEM, AND FREEZES WATER WITH A SINGLE GLANCE. HE IS GOD!!
:thumb
[Edited on 24-3-2004 by buzzbug]
buzzbug Praise the lowered
1,992 posts · joined Mar 2003 ·
some people are like slinky's
they have no useful purpose
but they are fun to watch
when you push them down the stairs
they have no useful purpose
but they are fun to watch
when you push them down the stairs
