maybe you went to lunch and never came back, maybe you gave ur boss the finger, we've all had to quit a job at some point for some reason. give me your top 3, or even just ur best "i QUIT!"
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
One man's junk...
1. I changed the passwords and encrypted all the data ... you pay me what you owe me, I give you your sad world back.
2. I've got root, you've got nothing. Cya.
3. You're wife called again, she sick of your shit too.
Loves a lolcat
the best one i heard was a sales man for a dealership got fired and his parting gift was 12 new golfs for a country dealership
“We all pay for life with death, so everything in between should be free.” Bill Hicks
the chaos project - click me
Ok Sam , you got me,
Had a complete dummy spit while working for an un- named NSW govt. dept. Had been doing my job excellently for 17 years and got wrongly disciplined by a blow in manager who had no expertise in the field. This was midway in a 6 month period of stupid restructuring and dumb decision making (by the blow in manager). Finally, a relatively minor incident with an intellectually disabled client broke the camel's back and I phoned the IDIOT manager and told her that, If she did not have staff to relieve me in one hour I would deposit 3 troublesome disabled people in her office because I QUIT!!
I ended up scoring 8 monthe of stress leave The manager was transferred to regional HQ where they could keep an eye on her. I then went to return to work with all the bullshit structured plans etc, only to find none of it was followed, (basic stuff, like not being on your own) I walked on my first day back after an hour or so.
Ahhh That felt Goooooood!!!!!!!!
Matt.
[ Edited on 13-4-2006 by Matt Ryan ]
We had a girl come in as a temp to fill in for the over worked office lady who went on holidays. She was there for about an 1/2 hour for an induction then at her desk for 10mins. Asked the boss if she could go to her car to get some headache tablets, hopped in her car and never returned.
laugh f%&k I laughed.:P
Customer service is not dead in Australia.
Always after HAZET & MATRA & VW factory tools
crewcabconnection wrote:1. I changed the passwords and encrypted all the data ... you pay me what you owe me, I give you your sad world back.
I wish I did that before it was too late when my client didn't feel like paying me..
still kicking myself
...and Robert's ya father's brother...
i left school (not quite quitting a job) with an awesome muck up day prank gone wrong.
after parking my car in the teachers carpark (it was on a hill and my starter motor was stuffed) a certain geography teacher went ballistic at me. for some odd reason he kept calling me a goose...
...so i snuck into the ag plot and grabbed a goose, and left it in his unlocked (!) car.
problem was, i totally forgot to wind down a window, and on this hot summer day, the goose departed this world for a better life in that great big pond in the sky...
police were called in, but they couldnt find any evidence as to who did it.
i still feel bad for it, but god damn that teacher had it coming!
Not me but I heard about this Ripper...!!!!
ISP Tech assistance phone op' guy gets a call..
"I can't see anything on my screen"
"is the monitor turned on"?
"what's a monitor"?
"The TV screen part of the computer"
"Ah yes I think so"
"Is the computer turned on"?
"Yes it is"
"push the Escape key for me"
"ok"
"Did that do anything"
"No"
"Push control and backspace"
"ok"
"Did that do anything"?
"No"
"Is your monitor plugged in"?
"I'm not sure"??
"Check the wires at the back"
"I can't see anything back there, it's awefully dark"
"Well turn the light on"
"I can't"
"Why not"?
"The power went out 10 minutes ago"..!!!!
But Wait....!!! It gets Better...!!!!
(ISP guy).. "Oh Dear...."
"What should I do now"?
"Do you still have the box that the computer came in"?
"Yes, why"?
"Go and get the box, pull out all the wires, put the computer Back in the box and take it back to the shop that you bought it from"...!!!
"Wow, that Does sound Serious..... What should I tell them.."?
"TELL THEM YOU'RE TOO F#ing STUPID TO OWN A COMPUTER".....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He was removed from his position later that day...
Poor bastard...
bwaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahaha......
The best "I quit" kind of story I've ever heard was about a roughneck on an oil drilling rig who dropped his sledge hammer down the hole. After a huge amount of trouble and expense they managed to get the hammer out of the hole. The foreman gave the man his hammer and said, "You're fired." The roughneck said, "Then I won't be needing this anymore." and dropped the hammer back down the hole.
In my own life. I've been retrenched with good references and with honour several times when industries or companies I was working in took a down turn.
After I had finished my degree I went to the teachers' college to get a post grad Dip.Ed. I still cannot believe how useless I was in a classroom. I embarrassed myself. The kids had a field day with me. At the end of the first semester I went to see tha head of the department. He said, "Good. I've been meaning to speak to you." I said. "May I speak first?" He said,"Yes." I said, "I quit." He said, "Good. I was about to fire you."
I can instruct, demonstrate, lecture, advise, tutor and run seminars, for prople who want to learn what I have to teach them, but I cannot teach, as in stand in front of a classroom full of children who don't want to be there, who are not interested in the subject and who muck up.
At that I am completely useless.
I finished my apprenticeship as a chef and started a new job in a restaurant in Brisbane, after the first day i didn't want to go back but i did, buy the end of the first week i was the head chef as the previous chef quit. I t was flat out at lunch on a friday and i had food ready to be taken to customers, but no one was takin it out. I walked out into the restaurant to get a waiter, but instead got told to get back in the kitchen by the manager who was a useless alcoholic prick. So i told him that he was a useless fat f#$%*in wanker, he said what did you say to me so i repeated what i had said. With that he pushed me into the cold room and proceeded to hit and push me, now you don't do that to a chef especially when i was the biggest person there, i told him if he kept that up he would be sorry, he then stopped and said i will speak to you about this after lunch service i said lookin forward to it. As soon as he went outside, me and the rest of the kitchen crew about three of us gathered our knives and bags and walked out, Leaving a restaurant with over 70 people in it waiting to be fed... Me and the boys then went to the pub and got hammered and couldn't stop laughing. We all had new jobs within a week, last i heard about the manager he had to leave town as no-one would hire him.
This is my Volkswagen, there are many like it, but this one is mine. Without me my Volkswagen is useless, without my Volkswagen, I am useless.
61 Karmann Ghia 2110cc type1 w Los Panchito's
66 Deluxe Beetle 2270 type 4
10 Subaru WRX Impreza
1...... working for a bloke who had never worked on a car in his life and "daddy" had funded him to open the bodyshop. He was always telling the painters and beater how to do there job and shouting like a moron if something wasnt right. i was in the booth mid spray of a top of the range merc when he opened the door and started to abuse the shit out of me cause the apprentice hadn't done something he should have (i was his trainer) so i threw the spray gun at him of which the pot came of the bottom and covered his gucci suit and walked out leaving the car half done. the other 2 painters saw me doing this and joined .. stright down the pub and hours of laughing later the boss turned up offering more money etc etc to which he was told to jump.
2... working as a glazier fitting upvc double glazing for a very well know firm in the uk when the customer was beign a total wanker and my manager was beign just as bad. so me and my mate fitted the door backtofront and the windows so they opened inwards. sealed it all and fniished as if it was the norm left ,parked the van at the yard and never returned
3... started a job where i was ment to be spraying but i get there on the first day and they tell me that i had to work in a different area so they sat me down in front of a small gullotine and told me to cut tiny little bits of metal to make a fridge i lasted 10 minutes before walking out and going home never to return. best part was i got payed 15 quid.lol.....
steff......................
Life with out a v-dub is no life at all!!!!!
1: When kitchen handing, walked out on an "Anus Horribilus" of a Chef at the end of an unforseen and very busy mid week evening... Just him and myself working that night!
2: Told the Boss's Missus to "Blow me" infront of staff... He he he.
3: Stuff I just can't mention here for fear of self incrimination :-D
Bit too crude for this area mate. Tidy it up a little hey?
(Adam_C)
[ Edited on 17-4-2006 by Adam_C ]
A candy coloured clown they called the sandman tip toes through my room every night just to sprinkle stardust on my pillow go to sleep everything will be allright
1967 Type 3 square
1956 double door panel
1968 single cab kombi
CAFFINEPUSHERMAN wrote:[ Edited on 14/4/2006 by CAFFINEPUSHERMAN ]
HAHAHA, thats rough man.
I prepared for my last day of work at a fast food joint. The night before my last shift (which was an all day shift 6.30am till 6.30 pm) i got trashed and pulled an all nighter, not a wink of sleep. Proceeded to work in the morning and made a nice little bed out of frozen chip boxes and took a 2 hour nap in full customer view. Best sleep i've ever had.
[ Edited on 17-4-2006 by Adam_C ]
great thread sam, best one was the 6 weeks off with stress, going back causing a right stink, got a top solicitors to right me a great letter, cutting a long story short, got another job, gave them the letter, got the money I wanted and was told I could leave now. I said thats fine I am fixing the server I will go at the end of the day, when will the money be in the bank. Presented it to the MD just before he had to deal with me claiming bullying by the FD. He couldn't believe his luck got his cheque book out well quick. Proved who was in the right and how were the wankers LOL
WANTED kombi drivers side rear corner for a early bay! found after six years lol
WANTED engine lid for early kombi 71
I used to work for a fax and copier company as a tech/storeman in the mid eighties. The boss was a right wanker, would have me wash his 4wd, go out at lunch to a liquid sales meeting, bring it back to have me wash it again. He raced powerboats and was connected with most of the business dudes around town. I was leaving for my nursing training but he didnt know at this stage. Came in one friday and sacked one of the three other techs, a couple of sales guys and really hooked into the rest of us. His secretary was leaving too for uni and was sick of him hitting on her (her 18 him mid 40's)
He used to have a photocopy of his hand giving the bird on his internal office door (staff entry one) we copied it three times, loaded it into his personal office fax and taped the ends. Set the max pages to 99 and pressed the combos to have it dial his whole fax list. (pre email fax lists were king) On Fri arvo when we left, pressed go. All weekend it sent out 99 pages of his finger to all his fax list. Friends, family, business, clients etc.
He thought it was one of the sacked dudes. Went off like a rutting bull on monday as his incoming machine was full of please explains. As he was going techno feral through all the colours of the rainbow, his secretary and I quit too and left!
The best one Ive heard from elsewhere was a mate who got DCM'd on friday (dont come monday) at a ultra**** named car service centre. He reset their auto oiler ( the ones that fill a car back up with oil) to 1 ltr. no one checked the dipsticks there as it fast in and out for the cars using minimum wage 'technitions'
Had a huge blow up rate apparently and parent company tried to dodge the warranties etc. Revenge, a dish best served cold......
This disclaimer does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my friends, or my dog: don't quote me on that; don't quote me on anything; this disclaimer is subject to change without notice; text is slightly enlarged to show detail; resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and coincidental; dry clean only; do not bend, fold, or mutilate; anchovies or jalapenos added to this disclaimer upon request; your mileage may vary; no substitutions are allowed; for a limited time only while supplies last; offer void where prohibited; this disclaimer is provided "as is" without any warranties expressed or implied
i probably shouldnt be saying this publicly but its nothing to what some ppl have done
i had a real f**kwit boss who sacked me for no good reason
so about 2 months later he must have been working back late cuase his car was the only one sitting in the dark empty car park
so i took out my trusty battery drill and put a 50mm hole saw through the middle of the roof of his 6month old magna
how'd u like them apples c**t LOL
Joel
oh yeah i saw it 6 weeks later still with duct tape over it
Joel
Gave a weeks notice then got a doctors certiicate for a week off HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
