ummm..yeh....watch this...
http://forums.lfconline.com/showthread.php?t=20840
😀
zac_smits Coolest Person Ever!
3,634 posts · joined Jan 2003 ·
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Oh my god!!!
EgeWorks Wolfsburg Wizard
602 posts · joined Jan 2004 ·
WTF. Was that real!
pod i`ve got to finish this thing one day
4,980 posts · joined Dec 2003 ·
horrible aarrrggghhhh:duh
meetings 1st sunday of the month
check wbsite for location
All Welcome
http://www.flatfour.org/
and on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/FlatFour
check wbsite for location
All Welcome
http://www.flatfour.org/
and on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/FlatFour
zac_smits Coolest Person Ever!
3,634 posts · joined Jan 2003 ·
haha 2 comments in 7minutes...record!!!
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zac_smits Coolest Person Ever!
3,634 posts · joined Jan 2003 ·
My wife, Anna, is fond of saying that my last words on this earth will be something akin to, "hey y'all, hold my beer and watch this!" Well, I have outdone myself once again. No doubt you will see this true story chronicled in a LifeTime movie in the near future. Here goes.
Last weekend I spied something at Larry's Pistol and Pawn that tickled my fancy. (Note: Keep in mind that my "fancy" is easily tickled). I bought something really cool for Anna. The occasion was our 22nd anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my sweet girl. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized Tazer gun with a clip. For those of you who are not familiar with this product, it is a less-than-lethal stun gun with two metal prongs designed to incapacitate an assailant with a shock of high-voltage, low amperage electricity while you flee to safety. The effects are supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, but allowing you adequate time to retreat to safety. You simply jab the prongs into your 250 lb. Tattooed assailant, push the button, and it will render him a slobbering, goggle-eyed, muscle-twitching, whimpering, pencil-neck geek. If you've never seen one of these things in action, then you're truly missing out--way too cool!
Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two triple-a batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was so disappointed.
Upon reading the directions (we don't need no stinkin' directions), I found much to my chagrin that this particular model would not create an arch between the prongs. How disappointing! I do love fire for effect. I learned that if I pushed the button, however, and pressed it against a metal surface that I'd get the blue arch of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs that I was so looking forward to. I did so. Awesome!!! Sparks, a blue arch of electricity, and a loud pop!!!
Yipeeeeee . . I'm easily amused, just for your information, but I have yet to explain to Anna what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.
Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-a batteries, etc., etc.
There I sat in my recliner, my cat Franky looking on intently (trusting little soul), reading the directions (that would be me, not Franky) and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh and blood target.
I must admit I thought about zapping Franky for a fraction of a second and thought better of it. She is such a sweet kitty, after all. But, if I was going to give this thing to Anna to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong? Was I wrong to think that? Seemed reasonable to me at the time...
So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, Tazer in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. All the while I'm looking at this little device (measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference, pretty cute really, and loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-a batteries) thinking to myself, "no friggin' way!"
Friggin' way--trust me, but I'm getting ahead of myself.
What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best.
Those of you who know me well have got a pretty good idea of what followed. I'm sitting there alone, Franky looking on with his head cocked to one side as to say, "don't do it buddy," reasoning that a one-second burst from such a tiny lil' ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad (sound, rational thinking under the circumstances, wouldn't you agree?). I decided to give myself a one-second burst just for the hell of it. (Note: You know, a bad decision is like hindsight--always twenty-twenty. It is so obvious that it was a bad decision after the fact, even though it seemed so right at the time.
Don't ya hate that?)
I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and HOLY ***! DAaaaauuuuuuMN!!!
I'm pretty sure that Jessie Ventura ran in through the front door, picked me up out of that recliner, then body slammed me on the carpet over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, soaking wet, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position. Franky was standing over me making meowing sounds I had never heard before, licking my face, undoubtedly thinking to himself, "do it again, do it again!" (Note: If you ever feel compelled to mug yourself with a Tazer, one note of caution. There is no such thing as a one-second burst when you zap yourself. You're not going to let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor. Then, if you're lucky, you won't lodge one of the prongs 1/4" deep in your thigh like yours truly.) SON-OF-A-***** that hurt! A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at this point), I collected my wits (what little I had left)
By the way, has anyone seen my testicles? I think they ran away. I Miss 'em . . . sure would like to get 'em back....( Cat food?)
Last weekend I spied something at Larry's Pistol and Pawn that tickled my fancy. (Note: Keep in mind that my "fancy" is easily tickled). I bought something really cool for Anna. The occasion was our 22nd anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my sweet girl. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized Tazer gun with a clip. For those of you who are not familiar with this product, it is a less-than-lethal stun gun with two metal prongs designed to incapacitate an assailant with a shock of high-voltage, low amperage electricity while you flee to safety. The effects are supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, but allowing you adequate time to retreat to safety. You simply jab the prongs into your 250 lb. Tattooed assailant, push the button, and it will render him a slobbering, goggle-eyed, muscle-twitching, whimpering, pencil-neck geek. If you've never seen one of these things in action, then you're truly missing out--way too cool!
Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two triple-a batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was so disappointed.
Upon reading the directions (we don't need no stinkin' directions), I found much to my chagrin that this particular model would not create an arch between the prongs. How disappointing! I do love fire for effect. I learned that if I pushed the button, however, and pressed it against a metal surface that I'd get the blue arch of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs that I was so looking forward to. I did so. Awesome!!! Sparks, a blue arch of electricity, and a loud pop!!!
Yipeeeeee . . I'm easily amused, just for your information, but I have yet to explain to Anna what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.
Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-a batteries, etc., etc.
There I sat in my recliner, my cat Franky looking on intently (trusting little soul), reading the directions (that would be me, not Franky) and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh and blood target.
I must admit I thought about zapping Franky for a fraction of a second and thought better of it. She is such a sweet kitty, after all. But, if I was going to give this thing to Anna to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong? Was I wrong to think that? Seemed reasonable to me at the time...
So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, Tazer in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. All the while I'm looking at this little device (measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference, pretty cute really, and loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-a batteries) thinking to myself, "no friggin' way!"
Friggin' way--trust me, but I'm getting ahead of myself.
What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best.
Those of you who know me well have got a pretty good idea of what followed. I'm sitting there alone, Franky looking on with his head cocked to one side as to say, "don't do it buddy," reasoning that a one-second burst from such a tiny lil' ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad (sound, rational thinking under the circumstances, wouldn't you agree?). I decided to give myself a one-second burst just for the hell of it. (Note: You know, a bad decision is like hindsight--always twenty-twenty. It is so obvious that it was a bad decision after the fact, even though it seemed so right at the time.
Don't ya hate that?)
I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and HOLY ***! DAaaaauuuuuuMN!!!
I'm pretty sure that Jessie Ventura ran in through the front door, picked me up out of that recliner, then body slammed me on the carpet over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, soaking wet, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position. Franky was standing over me making meowing sounds I had never heard before, licking my face, undoubtedly thinking to himself, "do it again, do it again!" (Note: If you ever feel compelled to mug yourself with a Tazer, one note of caution. There is no such thing as a one-second burst when you zap yourself. You're not going to let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor. Then, if you're lucky, you won't lodge one of the prongs 1/4" deep in your thigh like yours truly.) SON-OF-A-***** that hurt! A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at this point), I collected my wits (what little I had left)
By the way, has anyone seen my testicles? I think they ran away. I Miss 'em . . . sure would like to get 'em back....( Cat food?)
MOB: 0423890217
SteveMk2 Officially Full-On Dubber
293 posts · joined Nov 2003 ·
That video is a freaking riot!!! Thats just classic. Takes me back to all those wedding gigs with drunk guests wanting to sing along.... I laughed and laughed!!! Cheers
Steve. Classic 85 Mk2 2dr GTI 8v Optioned sunroof and 15"BBS RS alloys. Koni yellow and H&R, Balanced bottom end, flowed top end, Neuspeed 268 cam.
SteveMk2 Officially Full-On Dubber
293 posts · joined Nov 2003 ·
Oh, and Zac, great story. As soon as I got an idea of where it was heading I thought "hows he going to govern administering a one second burst?" Damn. That would have really freaked you out. I wonder how long you were out for?
The reason for the story? it was that geeky dancing guy, wasnt it???
The reason for the story? it was that geeky dancing guy, wasnt it???
Steve. Classic 85 Mk2 2dr GTI 8v Optioned sunroof and 15"BBS RS alloys. Koni yellow and H&R, Balanced bottom end, flowed top end, Neuspeed 268 cam.
Dannyboy half man , half horse
2,306 posts · joined Jan 2004 ·
No other word for you. Your a muppet!
Very funny😉
Dan😉
Very funny😉
Dan😉
"If i had to explain you wouldnt understand"
The Lower Class
The Lower Class
pete wood 23 Windows of Awesome
6,828 posts · joined Jan 2004 ·
I have worked as a proffesional muso over the years and I didn't whether to laugh or cry.
one thing though, loved the 16 part harmony in the chorus...not 😀
as for the tazer..what did you expect fool! :o
one thing though, loved the 16 part harmony in the chorus...not 😀
as for the tazer..what did you expect fool! :o
"stoopid is stronger than axles"
http://drivingnotpolishing.blogspot.com.au/
http://drivingnotpolishing.blogspot.com.au/
ColumBUS Hail To The Bus Driver!
3,601 posts · joined Sep 2004 ·
heheh watch that little geek spin!
that was absolute classic!!
im also a muso (a metal band albeit) i didnt know 8 people could make the sound of 100 gutted mules!
that was absolute classic!!
im also a muso (a metal band albeit) i didnt know 8 people could make the sound of 100 gutted mules!
zac_smits Coolest Person Ever!
3,634 posts · joined Jan 2003 ·
haha i knew it'd raise a few eyebrows..
that was actually pre-match entertainment for a man-u game!
that was actually pre-match entertainment for a man-u game!
MOB: 0423890217
Spook Driving the 64 wheeler
1,168 posts · joined Aug 2002 ·
uh huh
Well my friends are gone & my hair is grey, I ache in the places where I used to play.
Flying VW Wolfsburg Wizard
680 posts · joined Aug 2002 ·
The Geeky Nerd in the white shirt was making the most of his 15 minutes of Fame.
They must of all been under privileged kids or something.
They must of all been under privileged kids or something.
BAJA NOW FITTED WITH A FULL FLYING REBUILD
zac_smits Coolest Person Ever!
3,634 posts · joined Jan 2003 ·
^^^
no it was dutch pop idol contestants :P
the failed ones 😉
no it was dutch pop idol contestants :P
the failed ones 😉
MOB: 0423890217
WABaja Call ME when you need a TOW
824 posts · joined Nov 2004 ·
zac that Tazer story was the funniest thing I've heard in a Long time.. I was in Tears...!!!
Thank You..
hahaha..
Idol stuff was embarrassing..
Thank You..
hahaha..
Idol stuff was embarrassing..
zac_smits Coolest Person Ever!
3,634 posts · joined Jan 2003 ·
no probs mate 😀
glad you enjoyed it 😀😀
zac
glad you enjoyed it 😀😀
zac
MOB: 0423890217