.... I'll have to put my Judson and My Kadrons on my REALLY fast car, not this slow one that I'm just gonna use to pick up the groceries in. While performing this shifty manoeuvre, lil Grease's teacher from the past walked in and didn't even recognise him, what, covered in grease and everything. Grease thought he'd play a little trick on her...
"Tell him 'We've already got one'"
He went to the car she got out of, which happened to be a Mini.
Thinking back to the gearbox he pulled out of the 55 Splitbus and put in his Mums 52 split rear window Type 1, he remembered this reversed all the gears.
He reversed the gearbox so that the same would mow happen to Mrs Ford.
This was no easy feat as the bolts were not metric. Thank god for vice grips.
He moved to another part of the carpark and watched and waited.
He could hear a bizarre humming sound....
... the noise was getting louder, and soon, from behind row "e" emerged the paltry, bastardised mini of mrs ford, grinding forwards on it's single straightcut 'first' gear. if only his nemesis "mini boy" could see this now! "haahahaaarrghh" he laughed evilly!! suddenly grease boy realised he was turning to the dark side and had to stop himself from babbling about world domination, weapons of mass destruction, and neglecting to perform regular oil changes. He pulled himself together and went over to pinch...
let sleeping dubs lie
..... the hoodjax off a real low 67. Just for spite he pulled the antenna ball off and stepped on it. It felt so wrong yet so right.
As he quietly sauntered back across the carpark .....
he stopped in his tracks. The hairs on the back of his neck prickled as he sensed he was being watched. His nemesis, ralph was standing in a pile....
let sleeping dubs lie
... of radiators and waterpumps. He said they made the Mini too unreliable. They were extra weight and failed too often. He wanted to see what the air cooled side had for him.
Ralph was looking for himself. He was digging deep inside. They looked at each other the way a kombi owner looks at a Ghia. They had their differences, but there was mutual understanding and respect.
Hmmm maybe it turns out they are both ....
destined to settle their differences by eating huge bowls of icecream, but I doubt it. There was respect, yes it was true, but something far more worrying began to build itself inside the tiny watercooled brains of Ralph and greaseboy [he's got a name doesn't he?]. sooner or later they would have to take each other on, man to man, down the quarter mile, at high noon, or maybe the monkeybars. it was destiny at it's best. A more than slightly perturbed Mrs Ford stopped wondering what they were doing up to their armpits in radiators in the carpark and decided to speak: "...
let sleeping dubs lie
....Which one of you twits put a 55 Splitty gearbox in my mini??? I barely have enough time in my schedule for mechanical rif raf, what with all those young lives I have to ruin for good, thereby increasing the need for psychiatry in later life, and perhaps stunting mental growth in the parietal and occipital nether regions of the gyrie through psychological abuse."
Which one of you twits is going to help me drag my car off this tree?"
"Tell him 'We've already got one'"
The boys looked at each other. Ralph started to drool quietly, and Grease picked his nose.
"Gnnnngnn ow nnggnn" answered Grease innocently, busy up to his third knuckle. Ralph sucked the thin trail of drool back up from his chin and smiled like a...
let sleeping dubs lie
veedubber let loose in Desert Bugs back yard. This was all going to escalate and it had to happen before these two got interested in girls.
Then all of a sudden the ricer boys rolled up. A dozen cars with 22 inch rims and 2.2mm of rubber, blue light headlights, led valve caps and lit up washer nozzles all cruised in to the carpark.
The boys looked at each other and realised a common enemy. The 'NISMO', 'STI', 'MUGEN' and other various stickers glistened in the distance.
Milo tin exhausts were all making an ominous "Blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah" sound.
They knew they had to.....
..RUN!!!! 20 radiators could blow at any minute. Grease boy found it hard to run with his finger half way up to his grease knuckle, and Ralph slipped on his dribble. They did make it to a gleaming black race beetle sitting under a tree with the keys in the ignition.... They decided to...
"Tell him 'We've already got one'"
... go cruisin for chicks.
This was to be a big change in their lives. They were not old enough to drink beers yet - although cars seemed ok to drive as the cops couldn't catch them anyway.
When they got to Chapel St they found the pan was scraping on the road.
Ralph who was the bigger of the two jumped out and ....
..immediately wished he'd waited for the beetle to stop, or even slow down. Some fifty meters down the road, after Ralph had stopped rolling and whumping suavely down chapel street like a hessian bag full of potatoes, Grease resisted the urge to use Ralph's head as a safety chock and pulled over to park neatly in a...
let sleeping dubs lie
....harem tent full of lush middle eastern women. It was international egyptian day on Chapel St and we all know how egyptian women love dropped spindles. Suffice to say that Grease boy seemed very attractive until Ralph got out and raised the car 3 inches... you see Ralph was a big boy, even from an early age, and when he jumped out and the pan stopped scraping on the ground and the sparks dissipated, the harem lost interest, and now they had one hot and sweaty grease boy in their tent. So what did grease boy do?????....
"Tell him 'We've already got one'"
.. Quick as a nitrous injected blown bug, Grease got out his favourite tool and smiled winningly at the third eyebrow from the left. she was hot. so hot that...
let sleeping dubs lie
....that he decided to ask her name. "Rotary" she said. Immediately greaseboy thought about future mixed relationships, and knew that whilst this may be an intense relationship full and power and passion up front, that it was destined never to assist in his real bloodlines.
Ralph, on the other hand was far less discerning regarding his bloodlines. So Grease left Ralph in the den of iniquity to have a cruise down Lygon street and count how many restaurants had doors big enough to do drive thru orders. It was while he engaged in this innocent fun that Grease started to get a funny feeling in the pit of his belly. He was...
let sleeping dubs lie
......Overwhelmed with a feeling that Ralph and Rotary had chosen the greater of two evils and were all the better for it. We always knew that ralph liked radiators, but this was sealing Ralph's fate in a fit of rotary passion. He always was a wankel lover but this development thrusted Ralph into intense confusion. Could Ralph just settle down with just rotary, or were there other water cooled babes out there yet to rebuild? This question could be answered by....
[Edited on 1-10-2003 by Oasis]
"Tell him 'We've already got one'"
... the old bloke who lived in the house on the corner. He smelled funny and his name was Lada. He had some funny last name like Samara or something similar.
Lada said to anyone who cared to listen - and he was hard to understand as he had an Eastern European accent.
He told them all that watercooled was good and that air cooled was good also, especially V8 air cooled.
For some reason he had a bit of a bitter resentment for the West German veedub, but he still accepted them as a really good design.
This is what he told the boys as he ate some cabbage.
(so good to catch up on the exploits of these two young studs🙂 What's next???:o Am imagining them in Chapel and Lygon St's LOL)
"You must go to the VW swap meet at Bacchus Marsh and there you will find true enlightenment"
"You must find all of the bargains and not miss out on any paraphanalia. For if you do, you will have to wait until next year when the moon aligns with nothing at all in particular"
They were amazed.
They could smell a funny smell though?
Grease looked down at Ralph's smouldering shoes, wondering if he was "The Flash", and if not, how he had managed to catch up so quickly after so much passion back there in the den of iniquity. At least watercooled followers were quick at something, he mused.
Not sure what to do about this sudden revelation, Grease started to pick his 'thinking' nostril, where he discovered...
let sleeping dubs lie
a dead end. 😀
let sleeping dubs lie
